Fan Q&As: Making us slump down in our seats since 1993

For real, though. Ever been to a screening? A panel? Then I am sure you will agree that the fan question and answer sessions that often follow these events are embarrassing to everyone in the room.

Here are all the usual suspects!

THE HUGGER

“I love you soooooo much, can I have a hug?”

No. Stop that. Have some dignity and sit down. Never ask if you can physically touch these people. That is so creepy, guys.

PERSONAL SPACE INVADER

Ever been to a more intimate Q&A where you actually get an opportunity to stand face-to-face with a celeb? And subsequently seen a fellow fan just start rubbing that celeb’s shoulders? Well, I have. IT IS NOT OKAY.

THE ROLE PLAYER

They come in costume. Or wearing a a logo tee under a logo hoodie with a logo baseball hat and logo socks. They might be holding up a poster-board that says “I LOVE YOU STEPHEN AMELL.” With glitter. Sigh…. 

THE LIFE CHANGER

“So, like, I really love you. And if it hadn’t been for you, I never would have moved to Hollywood. And if I hadn’t moved to Hollywood, I wouldn’t have gotten my job. And if I hadn’t gotten my job, I never would have met my husband. So you, like, totally changed my life and I just want to thank you sooooooooo much.”

And what was your question, embarrassing person?

RELENTLESS KNOW-IT-ALL

These are the fans who know a shows mythology and cast better than you do. Better than even they do. They noticed that time you wiped your nose in the middle of a scene and OMIGOD was it intentional? Because your character so would not do that. Also, that guy who is the secret villain? That is totally not how it happened in the comic book. Just FYI.

RUDE BOY

This actually happened at a Les Miserables panel:

“[Amanda Seyfried], did you like doing Mamma Mia more since the music was more in your range and you came out sounding much more powerful?”

Eddie Redmayne, trying bravely to lighten the mood jumped in, “Are you saying she sucked?”

To which the fan replied, “No, she just sounded better in Mamma Mia.”

FACEPALM.

See also: One time at a Gilmore Girls panel, a fan asked Melissa McCarthy if the show would be incorporating a diabetes story-line because of her weight. Not. Even. Joking.

AN UNORIGINAL

“David Boreanaz, is it hard to play Booth after playing Angel for so many years?

“David Duchovny, is it hard to play Hank after playing Mulder for so long?”

“David Tennant, is it hard to play any role after being Doctor Who?”

(I just went with all Davids for this for fun.) It’s called acting, guys. The very definition of what they do for a living is pretend to be other people on a recurring basis. Don’t ask them that.

See also: “What do you want your legacy to be?” This is often asked, especially by press. It’s just a lame question. It’s what you ask when you can’t think of something better and has even become kind of an inside joke in Hollywood — everyone in the industry knows this question blows.

THE RAMBLER

The “question” is not actually a question. It’s an eight minute rant with no end in sight.

THE STRUGGLING ARTIST

These events are not the place to ask someone to read your script or get acting advice. Anything that starts with ” “So I’m also a writer/director/actor and I wondering…” is bad news.

TECH SUPPORT WANTED

It sounds crazy but every now and then, someone will stand up and complain about a website function or a password issue. I can’t even begin to tell you how ludicrous this is…

AUTOGRAPH WHORES

We hate these people the most. When the fan Q&A is over, these are the insane people who rush the stage, waving posters, photos, whatever they can get a signature on, in the air. Half that shit is gonna end up on eBay and nine times out of 10, the talent is kind and patient enough to sign everything. Bless their hearts.

For a little more insight, please feel free to check out my recent coverage of the ‘Arrow’ and ‘Flash’ PaleyFest panels on Forces of Geek.