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An Old Person’s Guide to the Millennial Vocabulary

November 24, 2015 By AJ 6 Comments

I had lunch with some co-workers last week and proceeded to get schooled on a list of new vocabulary but that was just the beginning. A post on Facebook rendered dozens of comments and an email to some of my younger friends and family members produced words more foreign to me than Japanese.

So I decided I needed to do some research. While the vernacular seems ever changing and I have no doubt there are even more words and phrases I’ve missed, here’s a glossary of terms that might help us all feel a little more in the know.

Warning: I did not “bleep” the curse words.

AF: “As fuck.” As in, “I’m tired AF,” or “That girl’s tacky AF.” Also my initials. It’s kind of my favorite.

DGAF: “Don’t give a fuck.” Sometimes pronounced D-Gaf. I don’t know how you casually work that into a spoken sentence but I have no doubt it will find it’s way into my typed sentences frequently AF.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ : I mean, this is a person shrugging, right? So I guess it means DGAF? Or IDK? Maybe it’s like “whatevs!”

Bae: I guess this is the new “Boo,” which is slang for “baby,” right? Like “Hey Bae!” FYI, I read that in Dutch, “Bae” means “Poop.” (Note: This is not to be confused with “Bey” or “Queen Bey” as in Beyonce.)

Boom, roasted….

BTW: BTW isn’t just an acronym for “by the way” anymore. It’s used in daily conversation but when said aloud it’s pronounced “B. T. Dubs.”

Chawl: Chill, cool, awesome. For example, “Elon Musk’s Hyperloop is going to make trips from LA to SF in 35 minutes, so chawl.”

Dafaq: Because I guess “WTF” wasn’t hip anymore.

Dank: Of good quality. “This Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon 1992 is so dank!”

Dead: High emotion. When you’ve passed the point of something being hilariously funny or intensely amazing. The stories in this video crack me up and offer a great example.

Dirty: Actually means really good. Like “Yo, that beat is DIRTY.”

Edges on fleek: I think this has something to do with your hair looking good… For whatever reason, I spent the most time researching this term and then my brain started to ooze out of my ears…

FOMO/FOMA: “Fear of missing out/action.” I might say, for example, “I can’t leave the party this early. Major FOMO.”

Gnar: A derivative of the word gnarly; intense as in “Professor Randall’s theory on dinosaur extinction is gnar.”

GTFO: “Get the fuck out,” but not, like, literally. It’s more like when you’re in disbelief. See also: STFU.

Highkey: So this either means “truth” or “something over the top.” Allow me to give a couple examples: “Highkey, man! Check out that ass!” or “Late night party in the hills. It’ll be highkey.” What a versatile adjective.

Hundo P: 100%. If someone asks “Are you hungry?” one might respond “Hundo P full from breakfast.”

I Can’t: Enough is enough so you just cannot anymore! “OMG, I can’t with that puppy. It is too cute!” Often followed by “dad” as in “OMG, I can’t. Dead.” Can also be used in conjunction with “even” as in “I can’t even.” Blogger Awesomely Luvvie often says “I’m unable to CAN” and then she invented the UNABLE TOUCAN. Genius.

IRL: “In real life.” For example, “IRL he’s totes lowkey.”

Kickback: So apparently this is like more than just hanging out but not quite a party. I think I am too old for kickbacks. Let me know when it means “nap.”

Lit: This is how this was explained to me so your guess is as good as mine — “Yoooo, this party is LIT, come thru.”

LMK: “Let me know.”

Lowkey: The opposite of highkey. Which I’m not even sure I understand.

Mass: A large amount. “You hear Marriott bought Starwood Hotels? They are about to make mass money!”

MOT: Member of the Tribe (For us Jews, I think.)

MRW: “My reaction when…” usually accompanied by a funny gif. Here’s MRW Jenny McCarthy offered her opinion about Charlie Sheen’s HIV diagnosis:

Netflix and chill: I was totally going to type “isn’t this kind of self-explanatory?” but then I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Which I’m just gonna link y’all to cause I’m not about that life. I guess we found where I’ll draw the line.

No chill: Pretty much what you’d imagine. “Dude, you have no chill.”

On Fleek: The quality of perfection. “Your outfit is so on fleek!”

Put on blast: Getting called out for bad behavior. “She put him on blast when she learned he gave her herpes.” I actually put someone on blast at work yesterday. It was totes rewarding.

Ratchet: Look, as far as I’m concerned, this is a type of socket wrench. I don’t understand much more than that.

Same: An entire sentence in one word to echo a sentiment. Don’t say “me too,” say “SAME.”

Saucin’ on you: This one has me perplexed. Does it mean “I’m crushing on you?” Does it mean something about swag? I found several definitions during my in-depth research and came up with nothing declarative.

Shade: Apparently it’s something you metaphorically throw at someone who is disrespecting you. A derivative of one acting “shady.”

SMH: “Shaking my head” because you are straight embarrassing.

Snatched: All evidence to the contrary, this is actually a compliment. “Hey, have you seen Jim’s abs lately? He got snatched over the Summer.”

Sorry Not Sorry: A short way to say “I’m sorry but I’m actually NOT sorry.” Like when I tweeted this the other day….

Apparently the coffee I had today has made me intolerably hyper. Sorry, coworkers. #sorrynotsorry

— AJ Feuerman (@ajfeuerman) November 13, 2015

Squad: Your crew, your posse, your homies. Taylor Swift started collecting starlets to be her BFFs and suddenly everyone was all about “Squad Goals.”

STFU: “Shut the fuck up.” See also: GTFO

Supsies: A greeting. “Oh — supsies James Franco, are you performing tonight on Def Jam Poetry?” (Remember when we all shortened “Wassup?” to “Sup?” in the nineties? That.)

TBH: “To be honest….”

Tho/Doe: Just short for “though” but used to highlight a point. “That ass, tho!” “That smile, tho!” You get it.

TIL: “Today I learned….” Used less in verbal communication and more as a space-saver on Reddit and Twitter, etc.

TSIR: “The struggle is real.” So much so that we can’t even type that full out anymore. Often accompanied by a hearty SMH.

Turnt/turnt up: An exclamation of excess. “Yo, this party’s about to get TURNT!” OR excessively drunk, I think? “We’re gonna get turnt up tonight!” I’ll probably never use this word seriously.

WOE: We have Drake to thank for this one. It stands for “Working on excellence.”

WYD: “What You Doin?”

Yasssss: I especially liked the definition on Urban Dictionary: “Shit white girls say when they are extremely over excited and/or have had too many pumpkin spice lattes.”

* * *

Oddly, I think researching and writing this post has aged me a couple years.

Special thanks to my cousins, my Facebook friends, all the youngins… you know who you are.

And now, readers, tell me: WHAT WORDS DID I MISS?

Five People Who Should STFU

November 11, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

1. Donald Trump. Have we reached the tipping point yet? Enough already.

2. Ben Carson. Please, Dr. Carson. Tell me all about the Egyptian Pyramids…

3. One Million Moms. Because it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

4. ABC’s “The View.” I was going to say “especially Raven-Symoné” but really, it’s time.

5. Christians*. Because it’s a CUP, you guys. A friggin’ CUP.

And while I’m at it, I give you five other things Christians should actually give a shit about:

Poverty.
Disease.
War.
That rash you’ve been ignoring.
Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani — I mean, that’s a weird couple, right?

*Not all Christians, guys. Just the really insane, ignorant ones who are fixating on a RED CUP. These people need better hobbies.

What I’m Watching – Fall TV

October 5, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

This Summer seemed especially long — probably because here in Los Angeles, we’re still having it. It’s October and the temperature is still hitting triple digits out there. Horrible.

But hey, keep it up LA. I’ll be inside with my air conditioning embracing Fall TV. I am excited to welcome back all the shows that are like old friends and dive into some new shows — there are a lot of good ones this year!

RETURNING SHOWS

Madame Secretary. Am I the only person under 50 who watches this show? I love it. I think it’s the first thing I’ve ever liked Tea Leoni in and I like her a helluva lot in it. And I have a crush on Tim Daly.
Once Upon a Time. So much yes. Such a great premiere and set-up for the season. Very excited about Season Five! And more Hook.

Big Bang Theory. Admittedly, I’m a little over it with these guys. But I’ll stick with it. Like I said: old friends.
Agents of SHIELD. Kind of a slow start to the season premiere but by the end of the hour, I was totally in.
Law & Order SVU and Chicago PD. Strong premieres! I love my procedural crime dramas.
The CW shows — they’re not back yet but I am excited for these the most. Arrow, The Flash and iZombie.
What else? Blue Bloods, Shark Tank (so addicted!), Castle, Gotham (maybe – it’ll sit on my DVR for a while), Empire, How to Get Away With Murder, The Voice, The Blacklist (please be better than last season!)

NEW SHOWS

Quantico. I liked the pilot. At first I thought “predictable” but I think I’m going to be surprised. I really like Josh Hopkins and I think the lead actress, Priyanka Chopra, is interesting.
Life in Pieces. What a stellar cast! The second episode was even stronger than the first. And I’m gonna request more scenes between Colin Hanks and Thomas Sadoski. They have great chemistry as brothers. (I tweeted this and Sadoski favorited it so I’m winning.)
Limitless. Actually, I’ve recorded this but haven’t watched it yet. I have the movie on my DVR as well and want to watch that first. But I’ve heard good things and am looking forward to it!
The Muppets. Well…. I hate to say it but I wasn’t in love with the pilot. We’ll see. I’m not convinced this show is going to last. I don’t think the last movie was successful enough to propel any worthwhile momentum into launching this series. I say this painfully — I have always loved The Muppets.
Grandfathered and The Grinder. Enjoyed both. I think Grandfathered is a little stronger. But that’s a good hour of handsome men on my TV. I think it’s become harder to launch successful half-hour comedies and applaud Fox for the effort. Also – Fred Savage! He’s back on TV! I love it.
Code Black. SO GOOD. So, so good. What a killer pilot episode. Reminds me of ER but grittier. Marcia Gay Harden will get all the Emmys.

TBD SHOWS

These shows have not premiered yet but I’m keeping an eye out!

Chicago Med. From the creators of Law & Order and a spin-off of Chicago PD? Automatically in. I worship at the shrine of Dick Wolf.
Truth Be Told. Because I’m intrigued by Mark Paul Gosselar on a sitcom. But truth be told (See what I did there?), it doesn’t look too promising….
Agent X. I’m totally in for American James Bond and Sharon Stone being a badass.
Supergirl. I’ve actually seen the pilot and I cannot wait for this to premiere. I was really pleasantly surprised by it. I thought Calista Flockhart was fabulous.
The Family. Speaking of badasses, how about Joan Allen coming to TV? YES.
Outlander and Flesh and Bone. The Starz channel is crushing it. Outlander Season Two cannot come fast enough and I’m really excited about Flesh and Bone. Mostly because the cute guy from Center Stage is in it.

And that’s just traditional TV! Don’t even get me started on Netflix and Amazon Prime….

So what about you? What are YOU watching this Fall? Tell me in the comments!

Seven Reasons I Still Love Hanson

September 14, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

Yes, you read that title right. I do. I do still love Hanson, “MmmBop” n’ all.

A few years ago, I managed the PR campaign for a film — the music playing over the opening scene was super catchy and I simply had to know who sang it. Once I got my hands on the soundtrack listing, I was hooked. I was in. I was born again a Hanson fan.

So…

1. “Give A Little”

2. They still tour nonstop to sold-out venues. They clearly still enjoy the hell out of it and they still release new music on the regular but they’re not stupid. They’re still giving the audience the oldies….

Their senses of humor still in tact, they absolutely do not take themselves so seriously you won’t hear the cheesy pop songs that initially made them famous.

3. They own their own beer. And what is their beer brand called?

I mean, that’s amazing, right?

4. Their cover of Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is endearing.

5. There’s, like, a b’zillion of them. Taylor, Zac and Isaac have three other siblings. These three guys have all been married to women they met at their shows for more than ten years and have ten children between them. We should clearly love them because face it, they’re here to overrun the Earth with their progeny.

6. In November I’m seeing them for the third and fourth time in concert. Their current tour is unique in that every ticket purchased entitles the concert goer to TWO nights in a row of Hanson. The first night is all covers, the second all their music. It’s a ballsy gimmick when you think about it. But good on them. Has anyone toured like that before? I doubt it. (And seriously, having done PR for concert tours, I can’t even imagine how hard that was to play logistically — finding all those venues and making sure they were available for two nights in a row? Nuts.)

They’re not new to tour stunts, though. On their last tour they met fans every afternoon before their shows at the venue and walked a mile, barefoot. For each fan that showed up for the walk, they donated a dollar toward buying shoes for children in Africa.

Not bad for a teeny bopper band that could have been a one-hit-wonder and done.

7. And honestly? They’re not bad on the eyes. And I don’t have to feel like a dirty old lady – these guys are my age.

These Are My Obsessions

July 24, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

When I saw this in Stephanie’s blog, Not Entirely Perfect, I thought it was so much fun… So I’m stealing it! (Thank you, Stephanie.)

It’s easy, if not common, to tell people you are obsessed with something, right? But what would your friends say you’re obsessed with? If you think you can predict what they’d say, think again!

So I polled a dozen randomly selected friends and what began as kind of a vanity thing ended up being a rather valuable learning experience — but I’ll get to that at the end.

12/12: BRUNCH or FOOD. Most said brunch. I cannot dispute this. I do love my brunches. Not a week goes by these days when someone doesn’t ask me for a recommendation. I always take the ask seriously and send back options. I believe in brunch choices.

10/12: HOT GUYS. A few people mentioned specific hot guys such as Tom Hardy, Matt Bomer or “Shirtless Zac Efron.” Which is accurate across the board. (Frankly, with a shirt on, Zefron is useless to me) I’m not ashamed to admit I enjoy a handsome man.

10/12: PUPPIES. Yes, I have a problem. One time I was in a shop with friends. A very attractive, single man walked by outside and everyone turned to watch him through the store window. I was looking at the dog he was walking. No one was surprised. Priorities, people.

8/12: KINGS (HOCKEY). It’s funny cause I would never call myself obsessed with hockey but I do like it a ton. I grew up in a “hockey family” so I’ve just always loved it. I have become even more fond of it as more of my friends have become fans, though, and we’ve started to watch and attend games together. I used to prefer to watch alone – I have no idea why now.

8/12: SOCIAL MEDIA/TECHNOLOGY. I don’t really know about that but let me look into it on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Quora, Venture Beat, Gadget Review — or something like that and circle back with you later. (One friend said “earphones” which I could have bunched in here. It’s very true — I do love them.)

7/12: VODKA. No comment. But pass the bottle

7/12: STAR TREK. Yes, for sure, although to be clear, I prefer “The Next Generation” franchise above all others. I enjoyed the first JJ Abrams reboot but hated “Into Darkness.”

6/12: MUSICALS. At my elementary school, each grade was responsible for putting on a musical in their designated month. It’s not that they were having us put on “Oklahoma” or “West Side Story,” mind you. I went to a Jewish private school and the musicals were usually historical or biblical stories with songs written by our music teacher. But that was a huge part of my childhood. I don’t think I couldn’t be obsessed with musicals.

6/12: TELEVISION. Some qualified this as “Netflix” but the general consensus is that I am obsessed with TV. I don’t think I am as much as I used to be, but I do love it a lot.

Some things only one or two people came back with: X-Men or Marvel, boy bands, designer handbags, concerts, wearing black, Yankees, Sharknado and Starbucks.

KEY LEARNINGS

Because I hinge toward insecurity more often than not, I have this weird, ingrained belief that no one really knows me. In the same way a 14 year old might shout at their parents “YOU DON’T KNOW THE REAL ME!” It’s not a judgement against my friends — it’s derived from the fact that I think I am hard to get to know and a little bit because I worry people won’t like me. But I swear to you, every time I got an email back from a friend on this little mission, I was slapped in the face with warmth and flattery. It was such a humbling experience. People do know me, guys! In the end I actually felt like crying because I realized how stupid I am and that I do have some really great relationships and there are people I can count on. (Again, this is not a judgement against my friends – I know I can count on them but you know how that is when you feel sad and alone and think impractically that there’s no one to call who will understand?)

One of my friends replied that I was obsessed with bracelets at the same time I posted this on Twitter. Amazing.

This was a perfect shot of self esteem. It made me feel loved in the best way.

These are my obsessions! And if I died tomorrow, would I be okay being remembered as a boy band fanatic who enjoyed the occasional decadent brunch, loved hockey and sexy male celebrities?

Hell yes.

Vanity Fair’s Fanfair: My Stuff

July 8, 2015 By AJ 2 Comments

A graphic design/layout challenge I issued to myself that will only look familiar if you’ve ever read an issue or two of Vanity Fair. If not, to see the recurring feature this is based on, click here. (To enlarge the image below, simply click on it. Zoom in at will.)

This has basically been an exercise in vanity — but if you’re ever going to be vain, it may as well be for such an aptly named magazine. Fun facts — Vanity Fair was established in 1913 but was folded into Vogue in 1935 following the Great Depression. It wasn’t resurrected and built into the publication we know today until 1981. They also have a fabulous app. Their photography sure looks fantastic in digital but I’m still clinging to “the book” (pro tip: in the entertainment industry, we refer to the print edition of a publication as “the book”).

My New Best Friend, Diane Keaton

June 1, 2015 By AJ Leave a Comment

I went to see “Mad Max: Fury Road” last night (excellent, by the way) and as I turned away from the concessions counter and weaved through the crowd, I found myself turning around and nearly crashing into Diane Keaton.

Early last week, the morning radio show I listen to asked people to call in and talk about celebrities they’d spotted but not had the courage to go up to. I thought of this immediately as I walked by Ms. Keaton, my jaw hanging down, my eyes wide. I would never go up to her. First because I wouldn’t even know what to say, but mostly because in my imagination she is the most wonderful, charming, kindest human being alive and god forbid she is not in fact just so, I think I’d curl up and weep.

We saw her after the movie as well. Again, I could not go up to her. I thought I might — especially after I saw a couple ask to take a photo with her and she didn’t seem to mind obliging — but I just couldn’t. Instead I hung out in the movie theater lobby, pretending to text, and really just watching her. I was positively elated she was not even hiding who she is. She was dressed as you would likely imagine, in a fitted navy pantsuit, a thick black belt tight around her waist, black wedges, a black bowler hat (with a skull and crossbones embroidered on the side of it!).

There was absolutely no way to be cool when I nearly walked into Diane Keaton at the Arclight.

— AJ Feuerman (@ajfeuerman) June 1, 2015

I have a very strange career. I am privileged to work with all kinds of people I admire and respect and I have learned to shove personal feelings aside to appear professional. It’s become fairly easy to do, in fact, and it’s allowed me to have some really special relationships and create some remarkable memories. But there will just always be a few people I’ve put on very tall pedestal (Dave Grohl also comes to mind) who will reduce me to a gooey fangirl.

If you’re Diane-curious, allow me to make some recommendations.

If you’re already a Woody Allen fan (let’s face it, he’s his own genre), and you haven’t seen her most iconic role ever, you clearly need to see “Annie Hall.” If you’re not an Allen fan, you can skip it. I enjoy it but it’s not one of her performances I can watch over and over for some reason.
“Baby Boom.” It’s pretty eighties but OMG, I love this movie. (And it’s only $2.99 to rent on Amazon so COME ON.)
“The First Wives Club.” Because not just Diane — see also Goldie Hawn and Bette Midler. (Dear god, how is it only $4.50?! Go buy this. You will watch it repeatedly.)
“Something’s Gotta Give.” She gets to make out with Keanu Reeves and I think that’s pretty rad. And she looks radiant in this movie.
Her book, “Then Again.” It’s brilliant. It made me a much bigger fan of hers. It also lead to me following her on Twitter and Pinterest where she is, of course, delightful.

If you haven’t seen “The Godfather” or “Father of the Bride,” you most certainly should. They are fabulous for different reasons. But Keaton is more of a supporting player in these flicks.

She’s so terrific, guys. I always especially enjoy her visits to “Ellen.” Here’s a great moment — guess who she’d like to marry? And then they talk about the mile-high club….

Anyway, I geeked out yesterday because I shared space with the fabulous Diane Keaton. I’m still geeking out. Thank you for indulging me!

Fan Q&As are the worst thing ever

March 23, 2015 By AJ 2 Comments

Fan Q&As: Making us slump down in our seats since 1993

For real, though. Ever been to a screening? A panel? Then I am sure you will agree that the fan question and answer sessions that often follow these events are embarrassing to everyone in the room.

Here are all the usual suspects!

THE HUGGER

“I love you soooooo much, can I have a hug?”

No. Stop that. Have some dignity and sit down. Never ask if you can physically touch these people. That is so creepy, guys.

PERSONAL SPACE INVADER

Ever been to a more intimate Q&A where you actually get an opportunity to stand face-to-face with a celeb? And subsequently seen a fellow fan just start rubbing that celeb’s shoulders? Well, I have. IT IS NOT OKAY.

THE ROLE PLAYER

They come in costume. Or wearing a a logo tee under a logo hoodie with a logo baseball hat and logo socks. They might be holding up a poster-board that says “I LOVE YOU STEPHEN AMELL.” With glitter. Sigh….

THE LIFE CHANGER

“So, like, I really love you. And if it hadn’t been for you, I never would have moved to Hollywood. And if I hadn’t moved to Hollywood, I wouldn’t have gotten my job. And if I hadn’t gotten my job, I never would have met my husband. So you, like, totally changed my life and I just want to thank you sooooooooo much.”

And what was your question, embarrassing person?

RELENTLESS KNOW-IT-ALL

These are the fans who know a shows mythology and cast better than you do. Better than even they do. They noticed that time you wiped your nose in the middle of a scene and OMIGOD was it intentional? Because your character so would not do that. Also, that guy who is the secret villain? That is totally not how it happened in the comic book. Just FYI.

RUDE BOY

This actually happened at a Les Miserables panel:

“[Amanda Seyfried], did you like doing Mamma Mia more since the music was more in your range and you came out sounding much more powerful?”

Eddie Redmayne, trying bravely to lighten the mood jumped in, “Are you saying she sucked?”

To which the fan replied, “No, she just sounded better in Mamma Mia.”

FACEPALM.

See also: One time at a Gilmore Girls panel, a fan asked Melissa McCarthy if the show would be incorporating a diabetes story-line because of her weight. Not. Even. Joking.

AN UNORIGINAL

“David Boreanaz, is it hard to play Booth after playing Angel for so many years?

“David Duchovny, is it hard to play Hank after playing Mulder for so long?”

“David Tennant, is it hard to play any role after being Doctor Who?”

(I just went with all Davids for this for fun.) It’s called acting, guys. The very definition of what they do for a living is pretend to be other people on a recurring basis. Don’t ask them that.

See also: “What do you want your legacy to be?” This is often asked, especially by press. It’s just a lame question. It’s what you ask when you can’t think of something better and has even become kind of an inside joke in Hollywood — everyone in the industry knows this question blows.

THE RAMBLER

The “question” is not actually a question. It’s an eight minute rant with no end in sight.

THE STRUGGLING ARTIST

These events are not the place to ask someone to read your script or get acting advice. Anything that starts with ” “So I’m also a writer/director/actor and I wondering…” is bad news.

TECH SUPPORT WANTED

It sounds crazy but every now and then, someone will stand up and complain about a website function or a password issue. I can’t even begin to tell you how ludicrous this is…

AUTOGRAPH WHORES

We hate these people the most. When the fan Q&A is over, these are the insane people who rush the stage, waving posters, photos, whatever they can get a signature on, in the air. Half that shit is gonna end up on eBay and nine times out of 10, the talent is kind and patient enough to sign everything. Bless their hearts.

For a little more insight, please feel free to check out my recent coverage of the ‘Arrow’ and ‘Flash’ PaleyFest panels on Forces of Geek.