It is, in fact, NOT different for girls, Dierks Bentley.
The first time I heard this song on the radio, I had to force myself to keep the station on and finish it. I picture him writing it and giving himself a big ol’ pat on the back. “Good work, self,” he says. “What a loving tribute to women.” I think he intended the song as a compliment. I hope he was trying to wink and say “I love women. I love how delicate they are.” But in essence, all he’s done as far as I’m concerned, is released a hugely sexist single and offended the shit ouf of me. (I won’t claim to be a spokesperson for all women. Maybe some of y’all dig the song. I don’t know.)
Those lyrics, though…. Let’s break that down, shall we?
She don’t throw any t-shirt on and walk to a bar
She don’t text her friends and say, “I gotta get laid tonight.”
She don’t say, “It’s okay, I never loved him anyway.”
She don’t scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid
Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever done any of these things. Dierks, don’t fool yourself. Women self medicate with sex just like you do. Even AskMen.com knows we’re not angels and you know what? THAT IS OKAY. Life is meant to be lived, not endured.
It’s different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can’t tape it back together with a whiskey and coke
They don’t take someone home and act like it’s nothing
They can’t just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
But it’s different for girls
Can anyone tape their heart back together with a whiskey and coke?! I would like to meet that person. But women self-soothe with booze (my choice is a dirty martini) as much as dudes do, right? We all know that — come on.
As for the notion that women (oh wait, I’ve been forgetting — girls) can’t “switch it off” every time they feel something? Oh sure we can. I can. Just watch me. Although, for the record, if we all wanna get medical for a minute, you know as well as I do no one can TRULY shut emotions OFF. But what we’re really doing is pretending, right? Throwing up defense mechanisms? Human beings do this as their very nature. All the live long day; male or female.
And if you think girls don’t “get drunk and hook up,” then you have been socializing in pretty conservative circles, my friend.
Pushing back tears!? Well, sadly, yes, I can do that too. I think it’s sad anyone should have to; that a stigma is attached to crying like it’s a sign of total capitulation and weakness, but so be it. Suddenly we’re not supposed to feel things, I suppose. We have to be tough. But that’s not exclusive to a gender.
She don’t sleep all day and leave the house a wreck
Okay. Stop right there while I laugh and laugh…. Have we met?
She don’t have the luxury to let herself go
No, no I don’t. But sometimes we all let ourselves go, don’t we, Dierks? Sometimes we all need a little freshening up…
(She won’t call just to curse from a wall, she can push
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough)
That’s right. Guys can just act tough but girls can’t. Just ask a certain female Presidential Candidate who’s under fire for not smiling enough.
It’s different for girls
Nobody said it was fair
When love disappears, they can’t pretend it was never there
Well now you’re just fooling yourself again. Stoppit. (And no, it’s not fair at all.)
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough
So tough
It’s different for girls
It’s different for girls
Yes. It is different for girls. But not this way. You’ve certainly not done the explanation justice, sir.
Go home, Dierks Bentley – you’re drunk.
