Like, for reals, don’t even try it.
I’m taking my PR hat off for a minute because sometimes, empathy just doesn’t enter into it. I get at least a dozen pitches a week that turn my stomach or simply just annoy me. And that’s not counting the countless mom-targeted pitches I get (no, I will not write about your revolutionary, recyclable cloth diaper). I’m talking about the tacky, baseless, gratuitous and often exploitive pitches.
So here they are — a few topics, subjects and themes I will absolutely, never ever write about, cover or respond to.
- A political candidate’s swell new logo.
- A comprehensive speculation about what a political candidate’s logo might look like.
- Your client who may or may not be an expert on: transgendered celebrities, suicide, racism or whatever hot button topic is trending in the news.
- What your client thinks about the untimely and tragic death of [insert celebrity name here].
- Selena Gomez was spotted wearing your client’s jewelry? Don’t care.
- An event that happened that I did not attend and wasn’t even invited to.
- Your store opening in Dubuque, Iowa.
- Your Kickstarter/Indiegogo/GoFundMe. Stoppit.
- “Can I call you to talk about this?” Nope.
- Anything about or related to urinating or menstruating. Sooooo not my thing, guys.
- Your site published this amazing video! Will I drive traffic off of my site to yours so more people will watch it? No, I won’t.
- Cameron Diaz is on the cover of Cosmo next month! (Clarification: That is a sarcastic exclamation point.)
- Anything addressed to a name that isn’t mine.
- Jamberry nails. Or any multilevel marketing (MLM) product for that matter.
I was not content to stop there, either. I asked some other bloggers what pitches turn them off.
- “Supplements that promise weight loss, fat burning, energy or any other miraculous claim.” – Melissa, The Valentine RD
- “Trying to get pregnant products, experts, tips, et al.” -Chris, What I Run Into
- “Your client’s infographic.” -Lindsay, Fit & Awesome
- “Bodies need to be cold before your expert talks about why they killed themselves…” -Jessica, The Other PTA
Today we celebrate a monumental Supreme Court ruling that reverses bans on same-sex marriage. By Monday I have no doubt my inbox will be cluttered with “expert” pitches, celebrity wedding planners, etc.
So tell me, fellow bloggers, what else chaps your hide the second it hits your inbox?
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