Pro Tips Archives - AJ Feuerman

Making Facebook Private

March 21, 2018 By AJ Leave a Comment

Facebook Privacy! Believe it! They actually provide it

Oh Facebook privacy, you saucy, evasive minx. I understand why everyone is super upset with Facebook; no one wants their private information shared with strangers. I get it. And clearly Facebook is not winning at this game — there are flaws in their system and, if you ask this publicist, their CEO’s response to the crisis.

But I feel the need to remind everybody that Facebook actually provides rather comprehensive privacy settings. The problem is, they can be a little hard to find if you don’t know where they live and frankly, consumers are lazy, so they don’t bother.

So here’s this average person’s short list of tips. I highly recommend getting to know these tools so when moments like this make headlines, you don’t feel this mass panic and also so I don’t have to see posts like “OMG I AM SOOOOOOO LEAVING FACEBOOK.”

App Permissions

This is the biggie, right? On a desktop, go to the little dropdown arrow in the upper-right corner, and click on Settings. This is a magical land where many things happen. In the settings area, in the lefthand column, you want to select Apps, and now you’ve unlocked all the goodies. Definitely look for the box on the bottom left that says “Apps Others Use.” That’s where you probably rushed through setting up an account somewhere and gave Facebook and/or a third-party permission to dig through your private things.

And let’s go back to that third party issue. Guys, when you sign up for a game or use Facebook to login to a shopping site or anything at all, you always get a pop-up asking for you to consent. You CAN edit your permissions. Look for it and use it.

For example, when a vendor asks if they have the right to get my and my friends‘ information? I ALWAYS uncheck that. Because NO, YOU CANNOT.

Your Profile and status

If you head back into that settings area, you can also adjust how easily you can be found on Facebook. You can adjust your login security, who can tag you, if you have to approve it — seriously, there is a wealth of wonders in here. But let’s talk about your everyday posting; your Facebook status.

If you take advantage of Facebook lists…..

…. You can consequently customize who sees your posts! It’s TRUE!

I have a good amount of lists. There are some posts I don’t need my co-workers to see! Same goes for my family, my high school friends, people under 21, etc. But if I’m just posting a puppy video? That’s public because everyone needs PUPPIES.

I hope this post opened a whole new world of Facebook privacy to you. If you have any questions, you can drop them in the comments and I’ll do my best to help!

Mild Manners. Have Some.

October 31, 2017 By AJ 1 Comment

On the virtue of saying “thank you” and having gratitude

Yes, simple, mild manners. Have some. I was at an outdoor movie screening the other night and it was delightful. They are always so much fun — it’s one of my favorite Summer activities and here in Los Angeles, that means we can have them into Fall when it’s still hot as balls outside. In this particular instance, the screening ended on a fine lesson in manners and basic gratitude.

I was parked in a lot with three driveways — one to enter through, one to exit by, and one roped off with a thick chain so as to control the flow of traffic. And it’s hardly necessary as this lot is not very big and people always tend to be civilized. It’s a quieter side of town and a good group comes out for these things. Anyway, I was putting my things in the car when I heard a loud bang.

A driver who was not at full attention had ploughed right into the chain across the center driveway. What’s worse, he couldn’t seem to grasp what was going on so he was reversing his car and re-attempting to get out of the lot that way. And the car behind him was honking. So now there’s an audience — everyone packing up their cars is watching this unfold.

But for whatever reason, I just dropped what I was doing and in my Uggs, booked it over there and shouted “STOP!” I went around to the front of the car where the chain had entangled around this guy’s license plate and through his grill. It was heavy and filthy but I was able to dislodge it pretty easily, and toss the chain aside. And he tapped his gas! He was ready to just run me down. So I jumped to the side and slapped my hand on the passenger-side window.

She rolled it down a crack and I said politely, “make sure you stop and look at your car, you’ve got some damage there.”

Window went right back up, they drove off. The end. (Well, not the total end. I rolled my eyes, walked back to my car, and commented to a nearby friend that he’d said nothing to me before rushing out of the lot.)

Look, I’m not a hero here. I wasn’t looking for a trophy or a round of applause. I’m not even writing this blog post to seek validation. I have zero regrets and know I did a good thing. But I must confess I found it rather appalling that the driver nor his passenger said “thank you.” Just THANK YOU. I mean, I sneeze, you say “bless you,” I say “thank you.” The words should be a reflex, people.

It just made me wonder, parents are still teaching these things right? These are the basics to me. You say “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” and when someone asks how you’re doing, you return the kindness by asking them the same.

It didn’t ruin my night by any means. It just gave me pause and a desire to step up on my soapbox and just remind you all: HAVE SOME MANNERS!

Thank you and you’re welcome.

The Best News Newsletters

October 26, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Eight Subscriptions You Won’t Hate

In our current political climate, I find myself in a new and precarious position — news junkie. Despite it’s rumored decline and failings, I still rely on Twitter for a lot of my news updates as well as a few well-informed friends on Facebook who win me over with biting commentary. But if I’m not careful, I’ll end up travelling down a deep, deep rabbit hole of articles and videos which, I have learned the hard way, is really not healthy. So I’ve converted to a new addiction: newsletter subscriptions. I check my email first thing in the morning, every day without fail, so these have become my go-to sources of information as I start the day off. What’s more, some of them are written rather delicately so that the news is more palatable than if you, for example, had to digest it from Fox or MSNBC. So now, permit me to share the best news newsletters.

NEXT DRAFT

Written by Dave Pell, who is himself a news junkie, Next Draft is curated by him personally from 50 different news sites he trolls. He selects the ten most fascinating stories and sends them to your inbox with concise, pithy observations that will “make your computer device vibrate with delight.” SUBSCRIBE HERE.

theSKIMM

The Skimm “makes it easier to be smarter.” It was started by two gals (girl power!) in their 20s, working at NBC in breaking news, political news, and documentaries. News was a clear mutual passion of theirs and once they clicked, it did not take long for theSkimm to luanch into the ether right off their living room couch. The Daily Skimm breaks down in easy-to-understand verbiage everything you need to know to start your day. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

P.S. (If you are already familiar with theSKIMM, you may have recognized that I totally ripped off my color scheme from them!)

THELI.ST

How’s this for an opener? “We believe that there is a lot of money to be made from taking women seriously and that a rising tide lifts all boats.” SO IN, right? TheLi.st is committed to diversity and inclusion and animated by a mission of #ChangeTheRatio: Increasing visibility, access and opportunity for women and other underrepresented constituencies, across every field that needs it. It is more than news; it is a network and visibility platform for professional women from all industries who are ambitious, accomplished and committed to helping each other rise. “Listers” land investors, partnerships, earned media, speaking opportunities, great jobs, great hires, great advice and beyond. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

#WTFJHT

As in, “What the fuck just happened today?” Curated by journalist Matt Kiser, he actually cites theSKIMM as one of the newsers that inspired him to create the site. It’s dedicated to all news coming out of the White House and Kiser does his best to take a “neutral-ish position” on all things. Sometimes he is more successful than others but I appreciate that he not only breaks down the news, he does it in a way that explains it to less savvy consumers like me and tells you why you should care about it. It is digestable and my essential guide to the daily shock and awe of our nation’s politics. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

CHEAT SHEET

The Daily Beast claims their “cheat sheet” is a “speedy, smart summary of all the news you need to know (and nothing you don’t).” That is mostly true. They are, in this liberal’s opinion, a liberally biased outlet — but that is okay with me. You’ll get ten headlines daily, mostly politically focused, but I often see tech and entertainment mixed in and their paragraph-length summaries of each item makes it nice and easy to read through. SUBSCRIBE HERE (make sure you check the right box — they offer a lot of newsletters).

THE DAILY EYE OPENER

As Charlie Rose says every morning on CBS This Morning, “your world in 90 seconds.” Everyone has their morning news show of choice and mine is CBS This Morning. And right after they welcome you to the broadcast, they launch into this minute-and-a-half long video montage of the top news from the previous 24 hours, set to some music and peppered with commentary from the late night hosts so that you can chuckle to yourself while running through it. But if you don’t watch the show, or if you happen to still be in the shower when it airs, you can subscribe to it as well. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

NEED 2 KNOW

If you’re still jonesing for more easy-to-swallow news content, Need 2 Know sends out a daily email with news stories you ‘need 2 know’, from politics and business to sports and entertainment. It’s short and sweet with a little humor blended in. If the news is “hard boiled,” these folks are serving it up “over easy.” Fun fact about these guys also — one of the co-founders is an Emmy Award winning TV journalist, the other still works for Steve Madden shoes. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

INSIDE

Inside is a little different as it is not a singular newsletter — it is a network of newsletters focused on an array of topics and they are always accepting newsletter theme ideas. They pride themselves on intimacy so you can even hit reply to any of their newsletters and you’ll find a real person is on the receiving end and may actually get back to you. They have an app as well wherein you can customize your feed with whatever news you like to see and, similarly to Reddit, you can thumbs up or thumbs down stories to let the Editors know if it was helpful to you and enable them to more finely curate your content. Confession: I found out about Inside when Mark Cuban did an interview where admitted he only has 13 apps on his phone and Inside is one of them. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

BONUS PROTIP

FEEDLY

Well, if you’re anything like me, in addition to being a chronic news-reader, you also enjoy a fair amount of blogs about a myriad of topics. But we simply can’t subscribe to everything, can we? (Well, maybe you can. I cannot.) Feedly is an aggregation tool that can be plugged into most web browsers or downloaded to your mobile device to compile news feeds from a variety of online sources. So in one place, I can scroll through the headlines from a ton of websites and click on what I want to read, skip what I don’t want to read, and even mark some items for later. It’s very easy to use and I’ve even got my sources categorized with themes like “food,” “fashion” and “friends.” START USING IT HERE.

“Disclaimer” vs. “Disclosure”

October 2, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Know the difference

Disclaimer vs. disclosure is actually not that tricky once you get the hang of it. The FTC enforces several consumer protection laws, rules and regulations, particularly when it comes to bloggers and influencers online. In this space, we are often compensated with either free goods and/or services, and/or with money to review, summarize, endorse or promote. Additionally, publishers often utilize affiliate links so that if you, as the consumer, clicks on said link and buys something, that publisher earns a tiny commission. Either way, no matter how you are being rewarded for your content, if you are in fact being rewarded, you must tell your audience so that they understand exactly what they are paying for — literally and metaphorically. These activities benefit consumers as well as sellers, who expect and deserve the opportunity to compete in a marketplace free of deception and unfair practices.

So make no mistake, the FTC is requiring you to DISCLOSE. They are requiring a DISCLOSURE.

Not, as some may say too quickly, a DISCLAIMER.

A disclosure provides a reader all necessary and relevant information regarding a purchase or promotion so they can make a well-informed decision. It’s “the fine print.” (And for all you publishers out there — because you might be wondering — keep this in mind: Disclosures that aren’t made until the end of your post when you’ve inserted affiliate or sponsored links in the content that comes before the disclosure may be construed as misleading.) The FTC requires “clear and conspicuous” disclosures.

What is a “disclaimer,” then?

A disclaimer is a statement to limit your liability; that denies something, especially responsibility. It’s your “holds harmless” blanket statement. In this space, it may include something such as a blog’s privacy policy or giveaway “terms & conditions” (Ts & Cs), rules and procedures. It will, hopefully, and if done correctly, prevent you from legal complications. For example, I’ll give you one right now….

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney, I do not have a degree or expertise in law. I am providing the aforementioned and forthcoming information based on career experience and online research.

I’ve seen a few disclaimers that even make me laugh. And I think that’s fine so long as it comes across that you are accountable for your accuracy, reliability and trustworthiness in the space. This website even has one — albeit a lazy one — I concocted on my own.

So, what’s the point?

I bring all this up because several times a week, whilst I read the many, many blogs of which I am a fan, I see these two words interchanged as if they are synonyms and I’m sorry, but that is just not the case. When you are giving away that $25 gift card to Olive Garden in exchange for a free meal for the whole fam, you’d better be disclosing that you enjoyed that comped meal. If you are, in turn, sending all the email addresses you collect in that giveaway back to Olive Garden for them to utilize in their marketing efforts moving forward, your website better have a disclaimer somewhere stating that you engage in that business practice.

QUESTIONS? Feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll try to help but again, I am not a lawyer. I do highly recommend the intelligent attorneys at Hashtag Legal, the Law Office of Jamie Lieberman and Danielle Liss, who offer legal services for small businesses, social media professionals, & creatives. A very smart business to be in these days. And in addition, have at these resources below.

Disclaimer vs. Disclosure References

FTC guide, “How to make effective disclosures in digital advertising.”
FTC Endorsement Guide: FAQ
FTC Disclosure for Affiliates: The Ultimate Guide from PrivacyPolicies.com.
“How to write a blog disclaimer” by Raelyn Tan
“Does your Blog Need a Disclaimer?” from The Blogger Herald (This one has a lot of good examples!)

The Solar Eclipse And Boobs

August 21, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Yes, this is what it’s come down to. The Solar Eclipse and boobs. As a blogger, you see a lot of nutty pitches. But this one really takes the cake and who am I to pass up such a golden opportunity for special coverage of a timely topic?

Please note nothing here has been altered although I have removed some of the extraneous information because no one wants to read three-page pitch. And you will know when I am inserting my own commentary.

5 LESSONS THE SOLAR ECLIPSE TEACHES ABOUT BREAST AUGMENTATION

Yes, you read that right.

With the Solar Eclipse fast approaching, many are excited for this once in a lifetime event. People are learning as much as they can about this phenomenon, buying special viewing glasses, and making arrangements so this will be an enjoyable and memorable event. Below are 5 lessons the Solar Eclipse can teach about breast augmentation in Nashville TN.

First of all, a grammatical pet peeve of mine. When you include any number under 10 in copy, you spell it out. So ‘5’ should be written out as ‘five.’ There, I feel better now.

Then, to be clear here, because my friends and I had to double check, augmentation refers to a breast enlargement. Beyond that, I don’t really know what else to tell you. I guess in Nashville they take special pride in a boob job? I can only conclude there are environmental concerns in music city that arouse special needs for those with breast implants.

Don’t let large your Nashville TN breast implants act like an Eclipse

Can we all just agree this sentence doesn’t even make SENSE? “Don’t let large…???”

Before we get too far into this article, let’s get the jokes about large breast implants eclipsing our vision and how too large breasts can cause blindness and all that out of the way. However, when we look at this in a more serious note, some of these puns might actually be decent advice. Just like staring at the eclipse for too long can damage your eyes, looking at enormously oversized implants can “hurt” our vision as well. When breast implants are placed that are too big for your body, they look ridiculously unnatural and damage your overall result. This type of “totality” (where all one notices are your breasts) may be just like the Solar Eclipse…short lived and anticlimactic. You may enjoy the exaggerated results initially, but over time the excitement of it wares thin….

I’m going to stop there. I can’t take anymore puns. ARE THEY REALLY WRITING THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE? I honestly can’t….

As a publicist, it occurs to me there are two ways this went down. Either the client insisted upon it and the publicist felt like they could not say no and had to execute the pitch, OR, the publicist suggested it to the client. Either way, both parties should be embarrassed. This is absurd. It’s a reach, to say the least, bringing new meaning to the word “pandering.”

I have further removed a paragraph that compares doing your research on where to view the eclipse and where to have your breast augmentation in Nashville. Because there was no more room for my eyes to roll back into my head any further.

Logistical Preparation is a Must

Aside from the intellectual preparation needed, many will need to do logistical prep work as well. People have made special arrangements to be off from work to view the eclipse. You and/or your significant other might need to do the same for surgery. Obviously, if you don’t show up, you won’t have the surgery. But, it is also important to have someone available to help take care of you as you recover. This might mean logistics of scheduling time off from work, arranging childcare, scheduling meals in advance, or all of the above. A little prep work ahead of time is recommended from your award-winning plastic surgeon in Nashville, TN in order to prevent large logistical headaches after the fact.

Naturally the time you need to take off to view a 20-minute eclipse and the time you take off for a major medical procedure are comparable. Please make sure you fill out all the relevant paperwork with your HR department either way. #ProTip

Special Instruments Are Needed

In this paragraph, be prepared for the most ginormous reach in PR pitching history….

[REDACTED] Just like viewing the eclipse without the recommended glasses can lead to long term damage, so too can accepting lesser quality materials being placed inside your body during breast augmentation surgery.

Let’s revisit those annoying analogies we had to stuff for the SATs, guys. Think about this. Researching a flimsy pair of eclipse glasses they are selling for $3.99 at the local convenient mart is to healthful eclipse viewing as important doctor and equipment research is to critical health care data.

YES. YES PRACTICALLY THE SAME THING. ALSO, make sure if you get the right glasses for eclipse-viewing, you get the right kind of dog food for your pet, the appropriate shoes for your next hike, and the headphones with the best audio quality.

Any comparison is now valid. All bets are off.

Once in a Lifetime Event

Many tout this Solar Eclipse as a once in a lifetime event, but in all reality, many variables exist in our lives and we don’t really know if that’s accurate or not… The same may be true for breast augmentation surgery. While the idea of needing to replace breast implants every 10-15 years if only really applicable in lesser-used saline implants, the idea that one will never have to undergo breast surgery in her life is unpredictable….

WAIT. WHAT??? What dafuq did I just read?

Bonus: Viewing party may be fun.

Ok so we started with the jokes and we’ll end with the jokes.

Believe me, dude. This whole thing has been a joke, I assure you.

But the underlying message is still applicable: enjoy the results. While you may not have the full blown breast augmentation viewing party like many are doing for the eclipse (although you’d be surprised how many like to show them off after their surgery), since this is an elective surgery, I do encourage all of my patients to take some time to enjoy their results….

This is when I realize this whole thing was, in fact, written but the DOCTOR. By a SURGEON. I am embarrassed for him and his publicist.

And so in conclusion, I must ask all of you to never use the plastic surgeon at Music City Plastic Surgery Center. And lord have mercy, they have this article plastered (pun intended) right front-and-center of their website. If this is how seriously he takes his “craft” and how he chooses to promote his services, I beg you to accept he should not be trusted with holding your health – or your boobs – in his hands.

You Might Be Looking For Free Advertising

February 27, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Dear bloggers, I get it. And I know. I know you’re sick of it. The marketers and brand representatives who don’t get it. You are not a journalist, you’re a business owner. You’re an entrepreneur. A business owner. You don’t make a full-time salary and you certainly don’t get health benefits. Your website draws a crowd so if you’re going to put up information about a product and encourage people to spend money on it, it’s likely a lot of people will listen to you and that product is going to profit. So why shouldn’t you? I get it.

Now pardon me for a second whilst I talk to the other side….

Dear marketers, I get it. And I know. I used to be you. I was so “you” that if you had told me then that I’d be the “me” I am now, I would have muttered some profanity in your direction and held a dismissive hand up to your face. But I get it now and I want you to join me in the light. Yes, bloggers and influencers are looking for content, but bloggers and influencers are not journalists. They own a piece of the internet that influences their readers to do things; if you want some real estate on their turf, it’ll cost you. And gone are the days where you can “pay” them with things that are not money. Exceptions exist, but my goodness, a lot of y’all need to wake up and get with the program. And I am not addressing the publicist who’s just doing what their boss is making them do. (That’s another letter for another time and lord knows I feel you.) I’m talking to the people who control the decisions, the budgets and the strategy.

Still think what you have to offer is “just as good as money?” It’s not, I promise. If you don’t want to do your own job for free, please assume a blogger doesn’t either. And they do consider “this” their job. Do TV networks give away advertising for free? Of course not. And one might argue nowadays, advertising on a blog that draws a huge amount of unique monthly visitors is even more valuable than TV advertising because a call to action (CTA) is much more executable in the space. So let’s work this out.

The rest of this post is for both of you.

If you want to “guest post” for my blog….

See also: “Are you open to contributors?” Sigh.

Your pitch starts off something like: “Dear _________, I was wondering if you would like to feature a post that I would be happy write for you about a subject matter I know your readers would really enjoy.”

Marketers, in doing this you may be unaware of how many insults it includes. For starters, by not offering a financial incentive, you’re implying that the blogger’s time is not valuable. You’re also indicating you’re lack of familiarity with best practices in the space. And you’re insinuating that the blogger could not write a post about your product on his/her own (for which, again, they should be paid).

Bloggers, please realize as marketers we often find ourselves in positions subject to a supervisor or client’s wishes. That our expertise doesn’t matter and our knowledge of best practices isn’t heard. We have to be able to demonstrate we did everything they wanted us to and/or provide a list of outlets we reached out to. So have a heart. No need to be snarky and risk your own reputation. Consider that in any reply you may flail back.

Note: Some pitches are so bad. SO. BAD. And even, oftentimes, insulting. All bets are pretty much off in those instances. Even I’ve been known to reply and “school” some tacky folks.

If you say anything about links….

Agencies that troll the web for free linking opportunities give me all the creeps.

The FTC mandates that should I include a link to any third-party site at the behest of someone else and if that someone else, or I am to earn profit from said links, I need to disclose as much in my post somewhere. You know what that means? It means it’s a “sponsored post” or, basically, an advertisement. A spokesperson needs to disclose a business relationship. Business. So no, I will not just post a few links for you. Nor will I go back to a post from five years ago where I happened to mention your product and add a link in — you should just be thankful I mentioned it.

Marketers, you gotta get smarter about this. You can start by learning the difference between DoFollow and a NoFollow links because bloggers will use those terms with you. And then go get schooled on the FTC guidelines. But if you’re working in a sweatshop where they just have you trolling for links and offering a few paltry bucks here and there to bloggers to post them, your solution is really to find a better job.

If you’re offering an asset that my readers “will enjoy”….

I do just fine crafting content that my readers will enjoy on my own. If you think they’re going to enjoy your faux contributed content, infographic, photo or short video hocking the latest yoga pants/statistics about flu season/breast pump/etc., I promise they won’t.

Also, do not offer a blogger:

A 5% off code “exclusively” for their readers.
A discounted meal/admission/purchase.
Photos from an event they were not even invited to.
Pictures of a celebrity wearing your product. Unless it’s a blog solely about that celebrity, maybe.
An invitation to stand outside an event and take pictures of people going into it.

If you’re incentivizing me with a giveaway….

“Write about my product and be entered for a chance to win $500!” Oof. I know we can’t always afford to pay every individual blogger who crafts content for us and this may seem like a really cool opportunity. And I know bloggers, this is often a fun, enticing draw. But it’s really just an easy out “payment.” It affords the opportunity to only, really pay ONE person. It is, in my opinion, a con. (And no, I’m not gonna lie, that doesn’t mean I haven’t done it. Someday I’ll regret having this blog and laying all my cards on the table….)

If you’re offering me exposure in exchange for my hard work….

Exposure is not money. Exposure does not guarantee conversion. Exposure is subjective. Please offer more than exposure. No worthwhile influencer is going to spend their valuable time on you in return for a “spotlight” on your website. They’ve just give you real estate on their turf — real estate that could convert to sales for you. What does real estate on your site do for them?

It is not an even trade.

That said, bloggers, if you are building up your brand and trying to establish a portfolio, in the early stages of your career, you may actually find it valuable to enter a few of these deals so that later, you can tell potential partners that your past clients have included Mercedes, Kraft and Living Spaces. (I just arbitrarily picked those brands from advertisements in my Facebook feed.)

* * *

MARKETERS! What are your challenges in trying to work with influencers? How is your brand moving forward with influencer marketing?

INFLUENCERS! In what (annoying) ways are you still being approached to work for free?

Overheard at #Dad2Summit

February 13, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

This ain’t that mom blog conference you’ve been to 20 times, y’all.

While I attended the Dad 2.0 Summit, I kept hearing things said aloud that made me think “oh, you’d never hear that at a mom blog conference,” or, “that wouldn’t mean the same thing if a woman had said it.” Sometimes those were hilarious things… and sometimes they were poignant moments that made me recall all the reasons I was dismayed by my last experience at BlogHer. Either way, in sharing all these things “overheard at #Dad2Summit,” let me tell you what I thought of my first Dad 2.0.

By the way, Dad 2.0 makes a really comfy tee.

“Hey, would you like to join us?”

The first thing I was not prepared for at Dad 2.0 was how friggin’ friendly everyone was! I showed up to the kick-off happy hour late be design because then I would not have to stay long, nor would I have to suffer from not knowing anyone there for a long while. But as soon as I walked in, I ran into someone I knew (thanks, Jessi!) and it put me at ease. Not wanting to monopolize her for the rest of the event, I strapped into my big girl pants and walked further into the room. And true, the event was nearly over by the time I got there, but so many bloggers introduced themselves to me in that time. I had amazing conversations with smart, kind men who’d hug me when they saw me for the rest of the weekend. People were inviting me to join their conversations, or pulling up a chair to join one I was having. No one flinched or judged the new people. No one stuck to their clique — I saw people moving around all over the place. It was really refreshing and I knew then that this was going to be a different conference experience.

“There’s a pretty high concentration of bald guys with beards here. What is that all about?”

I overheard one woman say that to another woman and it just cracked me up. But the bigger picture to consider is that this was/is a really diverse group. White dads, black dads, white dads with black children, stay-at-home dads, gay dads… The diversity was apparent, even advertised, praised, embraced, celebrated… What’s more, another thing I really loved at Dad 2.0? It wasn’t a fashion show. Oh sure, a lot of guys were dressed up, there was style for days, but I never felt like anyone was trying to compete with anyone else. And frankly, as I was a woman at this show, I certainly didn’t feel like I had to compete with anyone, which was liberating and left me free to focus on more important priorities.

“Would you like to drive a KIA?”

Um, YES, I would! Because in my blogging niche, no one’s ever offered me an opportunity like that before. And at blogging conferences, I’m not usually invited to the private top tier events. I’m relegated to my little corner of the “lifestyle,” non-mom blogging world and have always watched family bloggers with envy, taking cars on road trips and for test drives. So I was just a giddy doofus when a delightful Kia rep handed me the keys (metaphorically, because I drove an electric Kia Soul) and sent me on my way. It was a treat. Plus, the Kia Lounge was a lovely space to relax for a bit, chat with more new friends, and they also had a talented photographer doing free headshots for people!

“I’m really excited about this sausage, guys.” or “There’s meat. I checked.”

At a women’s blog conference, everyone obsesses over “gluten free” and “whole 30” and “OMIGOD WHERE IS THE VEGETARIAN MEAL?” It’s such a part of the dialog that my eyes don’t even roll anymore. No one obsessed over that here. I’m sure there was a veggie option and I’m sure anyone with allergies handled it like a grown up, but I never heard about it. But I did hear a lot of folks excited that breakfast always included a meat. There were dudes eating plates of only-bacon for breakfast on Friday and to them I say: RESPECT.

“There’s no line for the ladies room!”

Oh yeah, that was said by me. Every time I had to pee.

“Hang onto yer blazers!”

This must be the modern-day man-version of “hold onto your hats!” It just cracked me up.

“Are you sharing a room with a guy you don’t know?”

Well, let’s face it, at a lady conference, this would mean your Saturday night got out of control….

“Use your strength for service, not for status.”

One of our keynote speakers among the many I enjoyed at the Summit (and kudos, by the way, for not letting any of them run waaaaay too long as is often the case), was Charles “Peanut” Tillman, retired football player (Chicago Bears, Carolina Panthers). WHAT A COOL GUY. He wasn’t up there talking to hear the sound of his own voice, he wasn’t up there to be a product “evangelist.” He was dropping amazing bits of wisdom, he was asking us questions and he was aware of where he was and what he was doing there. And afterward, he left the room to take care of some media and no one chased him down for a selfie or to try and claim him as a BFF. It was a classy bit.

“Use your strength for service, not for status.” #Dad2Summit @peanuttillman

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THE PANEL

The primary reason I was at Dad 2.0, by the by, was to participate in a panel on Saturday morning called “Where We Are: Influencer Marketing.” Sharing the table with John Dominguez (Kia), Patrick Quinn (Life of Dad), Mike Satterfield (The Gentleman Racer) and our moderator, Stefania Pomponi (Clever), I found this to be one of the best speaking experiences I’ve ever had. We had a great pre-conference call to get a lay of the land, everything was organized, and the questions from the room afterward were really on point. I was also relieved that the workshop was well attended. It’s the worst feeling to prep for something like that and have no one show up. It’s happened to me a couple times now because conference attendees are veterans who don’t feel there’s much left to learn, or it’s late into the conference and they’re burnt out, or there are so many workshops happening simultaneously and it dilutes the audience. But a total blast doing this and I hope I get asked back.

* * *

Blogging has been the longest commitment I’ve ever been a part of. I began blogging in 2003 before the word was even mainstream. And so I mean it quite sincerely when I say there’s not a thing left for me to learn about the “business” at this point. I even swore I’d stay away from conferences for a while because I’d pretty much had it. And I think if you’re a super experienced blogger or influencer, you know what I mean. (Full disclosure: I only attended one educational workshop at Dad 2.0 but checked out the moment the speaker told the room how to use a social media tool but left out some of it’s best features.) But in Dad 2.0, I found a reason to keep going to conferences like this – -though I’m not sure any conference is like this one. You go for the relationships and to be around like-minded people. In this rare instance, you go to meet new friends and to try new things. You go because, as Peanut Tillman actually said (paraphrasing), “you should get comfortable being uncomfortable.”

I’m trying to keep myself from sounding corny – can you tell? But I loved Dad 2.0. I’m obsessed with it. I hope I’m asked back next year. These are people I will keep in my life and continue to work with. I encourage you to do the same.

P.S. Dad 2.0 is a sibling-conference to Mom 2.0 and I mean absolutely no disrespect to them in any of my mom-blog-conference digs because I’ve never been and I hear it’s actually quite wonderful — but let’s face it, unless I’m invited to speak like I was here (and I would be more than thrilled to), I’m never going to arbitrarily attend. 😉

When to Broadcast and When to STFU

November 21, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

When to Skip Replying All and Other Annoying Broadcasts

Group texting sucks; long live group texting!

Apple, for all their infinite genius, misses a mark in this area. If only we could exit a group text the way you can in Facebook Messenger. But that also goes for group emails, doesn’t it? Unless someone deletes you from their own “reply all” or you’re the asshole who asks to be removed, you’re stuck. And same on Twitter, basically. Once you get looped into a dialog there, you may find yourself roped into a Twitter battle all day long. (That happened to me once – I never said a thing but because someone early on wanted me to get into it, I was trapped all day with notifications.)

We are all pretty happy that Facebook also allows you to turn off notifications on individual posts now, too, right? That was great. Who are the people in your life that tag everybody they know in a post? Tell them to cut that out.

Digital messaging broadcasts. It’s a tricky area. When to do it? When to skip it?

Professional circumstances aside, because every work culture is it’s own beast, here are a few suggestions on when to skip the “reply all,”, sourced from me, my friends, colleagues — and frankly, COMMON SENSE.

Group Invites

When someone sends an email to invite 30 people to something and does not BCC everyone, it’s probably so that 30 people don’t turn around and ask “who else is invited?” But it’s not an invitation for everyone to reply all and RSVP unless they are sharing pertinent information and even then, you should second guess yourself. Is it really pertinent? For example, are you replying all to also offer a few more a ride to the destination? Well, that might be okay but perhaps the smarter alternative is to see who in your neighborhood was invited and privately offer them rides if they are attending. Are you replying all to offer to bring the wine or dessert so no one else does? Well, that might be okay — but then you are opening the floodgates for everyone to do the same thing….

The BCC

Did someone email you on blind copy where a lot of people are on “cc,” as well? Do not reply all! You were blind copied for a reason!!! Don’t do it. Slap your own hand.

One Word

If you are replying all with one or two words, it’s pretty likely you shouldn’t. No one wants to see your “me too!”, “thanks!”, or “you’re welcome.” Inside jokes are off the table, too.

Now me? I love a good witty gif-reply-all. But I know they annoy some of you. I get it.

Introductions

When someone introduces you to someone else over email, practice this reply: “Thanks so much, friend! I’m going to move you to BCC now so you don’t keep getting our emails on this thread.” Now the friend knows you replied to their contact and can step away at peace.

For all it’s wonder and convenience, folding technology into our lives certainly creates more and more rules to follow. And who knows what will trend tomorrow? And next year? Maybe in 2018, replying all will be “the thing.” But for now, tell me: What is your “reply all” nightmare?

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 — And Why I Did Not

August 8, 2016 By AJ 4 Comments

BlogHer 2016 was a bastion of both happiness and predictability.

Remarkably, 2016 marks my 14th year of blogging. Sometimes I can hardly believe it. But at BlogHer 2016, I really felt it – in ways both good and bad. The good: Walking up and down the halls, I ran into a lot of familiar faces and brand reps; people from all over whom I’ve seen at conferences over the years. Lots of smiling, excited hugs and selfies. The bad: A tipping point has hit — blogging is not what it used to be. We live in an economy of “influencers” now and straight-blogging doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.

Why I Really Loved BlogHer

I know a lot of people! And it was AWESOME to see them. I prioritized hugs, hugs and photos.

My tribe. I am part of a “Blogger Tribe” and a lot of them were also at the Conference. I was at my happiest with these women.

Hewlett Packard. When Chris Lam (What I Run Into) texts you and says “come over here,” all you should reply with is “Okay.” In this instance it meant I got to spend time in the HP suite, which was absolutely lovely, and I got to take home my very own HP Deskjet Compact All-in-one Photo Printer. I AM SO EXCITED! I never get invited to the “cool kids” table at blog conferences so this was a massive treat. The HP reps were so wonderful, and I am very grateful.
Mayim Bialik and Tig Notaro. There were a lot of celebrities present at BlogHer. These two were my favorite. They are smart, talented, provocative women who are worthy of the term “role model.”
My smart friends on panels. Seeing Xenia (Raised by Culture) talking about politics and social media and seeing Anne teaching people about Pinterest marketing was wonderful. I only had a few minutes to spend at Tiffany Romero’s media kit workshop but I still learned a ton in that short time. I mean, I know my friends are the smartest, but now a few more people do, too.

What I Didn’t Like About BlogHer

Greedy swag hoarders. There I was, listening to a very smart woman from the AdCouncil talking about all the causes bloggers could potentially align themselves with, when a blogger interrupted to whisper to me “don’t worry, I’m not cutting in, I just heard there were free shirts here.” I find that sentiment and motivation to be far too present at blog conferences.
Believe it or not, the biggest trainwreck at the Kim Kardashian keynote lunch was not a Kardashian. It was the mismanaged lunch preparation and the behavior of incredibly rude, tacky bloggers fighting over plates, which were in short supply.
I loved Tig Notaro’s event — we got to watch the pilot episode of her new Amazon series, “One Mississippi.” But it took 20 minutes to figure out how to stream the show. Did no one think to put it on a DVD? Or do a test run? And she was in the room. People were snickering at the horrid tech as I was slumping down in my seat, embarrassed to be there.
The Expo Hall. Dear lord, what happened, BlogHer? This used to exist in a convention center, now it exists in a ballroom. With some really unappealing, unrecognizable brands, might I add. Even more sad, less than halfway through Saturday, some of the brands had packed up and gone home.

What Was Predictable About BlogHer

Cliques. I saw a few posts and tweets about unfriendly people at BlogHer 2016. It’s a heartbreaking truth. I learned at my very first conference that this is the reality of attending these things. People hang out with the people they know and I’ve found that is the only way I meet new people — through the people I know. There will always be “mean girls” and “popular girls” in a giant crowd of women. I say that as fact, not as a judgement.
There was never enough water; there weren’t any snacks between meals. And what there was, was only in one ballroom.
The sponsors are still very mom-heavy. Lots of breakfasts and activities did not apply to me. Many expo “hall” vendors wanted moms. Lots of take-home items were for kids. When I got home, I found fertility vitamins in my giftbag. (Not to mention Vagisil — ew.)
The panels were filled with other bloggers and I don’t need to pay what BlogHer costs to hear from other bloggers. Especially as so many bloggers are monetizing and running their mini miedia empires as full-time gigs. We all know what we’re doing now. There has been a pervasive rumor for years that BlogHer may soon break out into smaller, more niche conferences and I think that would be a smart move. A conference for newbies, a conference for pros, a conference for full-timers or part-times. There’s a lot of ways to do it; to break the mold. This many years into the conference, it surprises me that as an organization, BlogHer still refuses to up their game and set themselves apart by recruiting notable brand reps, publicists, social media practitioners and marketers to present on panels (and yes, I’m really frustrated that the same people keep getting asked to speak year after year and I am always passed over). Blogalicious does this well. ConnectHER does this well.

Anyway….

From a business standpoint, I must concede that attending BlogHer is still a good experience. Buy the networking badge and collect business cards. Get a feel for the climate of the blogging universe. Walk the Expo and see what brands are doing to work with influencers. BlogHer is reliable for that. It’s clearly not the giant it used to be but it’s still valuable in this sense. And perhaps as they further integrate with SheKnows Media, we’ll see a new incarnation of the event in years to come that will blow our minds. I sincerely hope that is what happens.

After BlogHer 2014 in San Jose, I declared that I would never attend another BlogHer. I made an exception this year because it was here in Los Angeles. If it is elsewhere next year, which is likely because it does rotate, and it remains stagnant, I’m resting back on my post San Jose declaration again. But I had a really, really terrific time seeing friends and colleagues at BlogHer 2016.

Oh — and meeting Tiny. Obviously.

You Should Be Using Twitter Lists

November 10, 2015 By AJ Leave a Comment

I still love Twitter, though a number of articles that claim it’s dying (I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!). For real-time news and as a sort of thought-purge (those quippy one-liners I just have to put out into the world), it works for me. I was an early adopter of the platform and have a huge attachment to it. The best tip I can give you to love it is this: customization.

A big part of that is Twitter Lists. They came along in 2009 as a response to Facebook groups; they offer a way for you to bunch together users on Twitter into groups so that you can get an overview of what they’re up to. Consider that the most active Twitter users might follow hundreds or thousands of people — there is just no way to see every single tweet. But segmenting them makes the consumption process a little more streamlined.

Reasons you might create a Twitter list(s):

You want to be able to just see the latest news or just what close friends are up to.
You share a common interest. (I keep a list of “Kings fans” I “watch” hockey games with and it’s become a really fun way to watch games when home watching alone!)
You need to monitor certain accounts for a work project. (i.e. You’re going to a conference and want to follow other people going; You work with bloggers and want to monitor what a bunch of them are writing about, etc.)
You want to follow all the people you work with or all of your relatives.
You want to recommend a certain group of people for others to follow (because other people can subscribe to your lists).
You follow a b’zillion out of obligation but really only care what 25 people are actually up to.
You want to see what some folks are up to without actually following them (yes, you can add users to lists that you aren’t actually following).

How is this accomplished? Twitter makes it really easy with this guide.

Where do you find your lists once you’ve created them? Right here. And here’s a good thing to keep in mind — if you ever unfollow someone on Twitter who happens to be a on a list, you should also go into your gears and remove them from the list(s) as well — unless you want them to keep showing up on the list.

You can also use the lists page to see what lists other people have you on. Switch your view to “Member of.”

Keep in mind when you add someone to a list, they will be notified. So if you’re like me, and you keep that aforementioned list of people you really care about among all the noise, you may want to make it a private list so that A. no one is notified and B. no one is offended. Or let’s say you’re eyeing potential clients? Keeping tabs on competitors? Make that a private list, guru.

Don’t panic. It sounds like a lot of work but it’s worth the effort. Set aside an hour or two some Sunday afternoon when you’re watching Law & Order SVU episodes on USA that you’ve seen a thousand times before anyway and go to this website, TwitListManager. This is a GREAT, basic tool to get started with. Because you probably already follow a ton of people and going to each and every profile and adding them to lists could take forever and your time is valuable. TLM allows you to do it much more efficiently if you’re just starting out with lists. And then moving forward, whenever you follow someone new, just be sure to add them where you need them.

BONUS: If you use a Twitter application like Hootsuite or Tweetdeck, you can spread out your streams and it ends up looking like a Twitter Master Control. You can additionally create lists or streams for one hashtag or one keyword you want to monitor. It makes the entire Twitter experience much more high end and meaningful.

P.S. That’s Tweet deck. It’s my fave. I’m old school.

P.P.S. That’s not even all of the lists I use.

Not sold? Confused? Drop a question in the comments and I’ll help you out!