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The Solar Eclipse And Boobs

August 21, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Yes, this is what it’s come down to. The Solar Eclipse and boobs. As a blogger, you see a lot of nutty pitches. But this one really takes the cake and who am I to pass up such a golden opportunity for special coverage of a timely topic?

Please note nothing here has been altered although I have removed some of the extraneous information because no one wants to read three-page pitch. And you will know when I am inserting my own commentary.

5 LESSONS THE SOLAR ECLIPSE TEACHES ABOUT BREAST AUGMENTATION

Yes, you read that right.

With the Solar Eclipse fast approaching, many are excited for this once in a lifetime event. People are learning as much as they can about this phenomenon, buying special viewing glasses, and making arrangements so this will be an enjoyable and memorable event. Below are 5 lessons the Solar Eclipse can teach about breast augmentation in Nashville TN.

First of all, a grammatical pet peeve of mine. When you include any number under 10 in copy, you spell it out. So ‘5’ should be written out as ‘five.’ There, I feel better now.

Then, to be clear here, because my friends and I had to double check, augmentation refers to a breast enlargement. Beyond that, I don’t really know what else to tell you. I guess in Nashville they take special pride in a boob job? I can only conclude there are environmental concerns in music city that arouse special needs for those with breast implants.

Don’t let large your Nashville TN breast implants act like an Eclipse

Can we all just agree this sentence doesn’t even make SENSE? “Don’t let large…???”

Before we get too far into this article, let’s get the jokes about large breast implants eclipsing our vision and how too large breasts can cause blindness and all that out of the way. However, when we look at this in a more serious note, some of these puns might actually be decent advice. Just like staring at the eclipse for too long can damage your eyes, looking at enormously oversized implants can “hurt” our vision as well. When breast implants are placed that are too big for your body, they look ridiculously unnatural and damage your overall result. This type of “totality” (where all one notices are your breasts) may be just like the Solar Eclipse…short lived and anticlimactic. You may enjoy the exaggerated results initially, but over time the excitement of it wares thin….

I’m going to stop there. I can’t take anymore puns. ARE THEY REALLY WRITING THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE? I honestly can’t….

As a publicist, it occurs to me there are two ways this went down. Either the client insisted upon it and the publicist felt like they could not say no and had to execute the pitch, OR, the publicist suggested it to the client. Either way, both parties should be embarrassed. This is absurd. It’s a reach, to say the least, bringing new meaning to the word “pandering.”

I have further removed a paragraph that compares doing your research on where to view the eclipse and where to have your breast augmentation in Nashville. Because there was no more room for my eyes to roll back into my head any further.

Logistical Preparation is a Must

Aside from the intellectual preparation needed, many will need to do logistical prep work as well. People have made special arrangements to be off from work to view the eclipse. You and/or your significant other might need to do the same for surgery. Obviously, if you don’t show up, you won’t have the surgery. But, it is also important to have someone available to help take care of you as you recover. This might mean logistics of scheduling time off from work, arranging childcare, scheduling meals in advance, or all of the above. A little prep work ahead of time is recommended from your award-winning plastic surgeon in Nashville, TN in order to prevent large logistical headaches after the fact.

Naturally the time you need to take off to view a 20-minute eclipse and the time you take off for a major medical procedure are comparable. Please make sure you fill out all the relevant paperwork with your HR department either way. #ProTip

Special Instruments Are Needed

In this paragraph, be prepared for the most ginormous reach in PR pitching history….

[REDACTED] Just like viewing the eclipse without the recommended glasses can lead to long term damage, so too can accepting lesser quality materials being placed inside your body during breast augmentation surgery.

Let’s revisit those annoying analogies we had to stuff for the SATs, guys. Think about this. Researching a flimsy pair of eclipse glasses they are selling for $3.99 at the local convenient mart is to healthful eclipse viewing as important doctor and equipment research is to critical health care data.

YES. YES PRACTICALLY THE SAME THING. ALSO, make sure if you get the right glasses for eclipse-viewing, you get the right kind of dog food for your pet, the appropriate shoes for your next hike, and the headphones with the best audio quality.

Any comparison is now valid. All bets are off.

Once in a Lifetime Event

Many tout this Solar Eclipse as a once in a lifetime event, but in all reality, many variables exist in our lives and we don’t really know if that’s accurate or not… The same may be true for breast augmentation surgery. While the idea of needing to replace breast implants every 10-15 years if only really applicable in lesser-used saline implants, the idea that one will never have to undergo breast surgery in her life is unpredictable….

WAIT. WHAT??? What dafuq did I just read?

Bonus: Viewing party may be fun.

Ok so we started with the jokes and we’ll end with the jokes.

Believe me, dude. This whole thing has been a joke, I assure you.

But the underlying message is still applicable: enjoy the results. While you may not have the full blown breast augmentation viewing party like many are doing for the eclipse (although you’d be surprised how many like to show them off after their surgery), since this is an elective surgery, I do encourage all of my patients to take some time to enjoy their results….

This is when I realize this whole thing was, in fact, written but the DOCTOR. By a SURGEON. I am embarrassed for him and his publicist.

And so in conclusion, I must ask all of you to never use the plastic surgeon at Music City Plastic Surgery Center. And lord have mercy, they have this article plastered (pun intended) right front-and-center of their website. If this is how seriously he takes his “craft” and how he chooses to promote his services, I beg you to accept he should not be trusted with holding your health – or your boobs – in his hands.

You Might Be Looking For Free Advertising

February 27, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

Dear bloggers, I get it. And I know. I know you’re sick of it. The marketers and brand representatives who don’t get it. You are not a journalist, you’re a business owner. You’re an entrepreneur. A business owner. You don’t make a full-time salary and you certainly don’t get health benefits. Your website draws a crowd so if you’re going to put up information about a product and encourage people to spend money on it, it’s likely a lot of people will listen to you and that product is going to profit. So why shouldn’t you? I get it.

Now pardon me for a second whilst I talk to the other side….

Dear marketers, I get it. And I know. I used to be you. I was so “you” that if you had told me then that I’d be the “me” I am now, I would have muttered some profanity in your direction and held a dismissive hand up to your face. But I get it now and I want you to join me in the light. Yes, bloggers and influencers are looking for content, but bloggers and influencers are not journalists. They own a piece of the internet that influences their readers to do things; if you want some real estate on their turf, it’ll cost you. And gone are the days where you can “pay” them with things that are not money. Exceptions exist, but my goodness, a lot of y’all need to wake up and get with the program. And I am not addressing the publicist who’s just doing what their boss is making them do. (That’s another letter for another time and lord knows I feel you.) I’m talking to the people who control the decisions, the budgets and the strategy.

Still think what you have to offer is “just as good as money?” It’s not, I promise. If you don’t want to do your own job for free, please assume a blogger doesn’t either. And they do consider “this” their job. Do TV networks give away advertising for free? Of course not. And one might argue nowadays, advertising on a blog that draws a huge amount of unique monthly visitors is even more valuable than TV advertising because a call to action (CTA) is much more executable in the space. So let’s work this out.

The rest of this post is for both of you.

If you want to “guest post” for my blog….

See also: “Are you open to contributors?” Sigh.

Your pitch starts off something like: “Dear _________, I was wondering if you would like to feature a post that I would be happy write for you about a subject matter I know your readers would really enjoy.”

Marketers, in doing this you may be unaware of how many insults it includes. For starters, by not offering a financial incentive, you’re implying that the blogger’s time is not valuable. You’re also indicating you’re lack of familiarity with best practices in the space. And you’re insinuating that the blogger could not write a post about your product on his/her own (for which, again, they should be paid).

Bloggers, please realize as marketers we often find ourselves in positions subject to a supervisor or client’s wishes. That our expertise doesn’t matter and our knowledge of best practices isn’t heard. We have to be able to demonstrate we did everything they wanted us to and/or provide a list of outlets we reached out to. So have a heart. No need to be snarky and risk your own reputation. Consider that in any reply you may flail back.

Note: Some pitches are so bad. SO. BAD. And even, oftentimes, insulting. All bets are pretty much off in those instances. Even I’ve been known to reply and “school” some tacky folks.

If you say anything about links….

Agencies that troll the web for free linking opportunities give me all the creeps.

The FTC mandates that should I include a link to any third-party site at the behest of someone else and if that someone else, or I am to earn profit from said links, I need to disclose as much in my post somewhere. You know what that means? It means it’s a “sponsored post” or, basically, an advertisement. A spokesperson needs to disclose a business relationship. Business. So no, I will not just post a few links for you. Nor will I go back to a post from five years ago where I happened to mention your product and add a link in — you should just be thankful I mentioned it.

Marketers, you gotta get smarter about this. You can start by learning the difference between DoFollow and a NoFollow links because bloggers will use those terms with you. And then go get schooled on the FTC guidelines. But if you’re working in a sweatshop where they just have you trolling for links and offering a few paltry bucks here and there to bloggers to post them, your solution is really to find a better job.

If you’re offering an asset that my readers “will enjoy”….

I do just fine crafting content that my readers will enjoy on my own. If you think they’re going to enjoy your faux contributed content, infographic, photo or short video hocking the latest yoga pants/statistics about flu season/breast pump/etc., I promise they won’t.

Also, do not offer a blogger:

A 5% off code “exclusively” for their readers.
A discounted meal/admission/purchase.
Photos from an event they were not even invited to.
Pictures of a celebrity wearing your product. Unless it’s a blog solely about that celebrity, maybe.
An invitation to stand outside an event and take pictures of people going into it.

If you’re incentivizing me with a giveaway….

“Write about my product and be entered for a chance to win $500!” Oof. I know we can’t always afford to pay every individual blogger who crafts content for us and this may seem like a really cool opportunity. And I know bloggers, this is often a fun, enticing draw. But it’s really just an easy out “payment.” It affords the opportunity to only, really pay ONE person. It is, in my opinion, a con. (And no, I’m not gonna lie, that doesn’t mean I haven’t done it. Someday I’ll regret having this blog and laying all my cards on the table….)

If you’re offering me exposure in exchange for my hard work….

Exposure is not money. Exposure does not guarantee conversion. Exposure is subjective. Please offer more than exposure. No worthwhile influencer is going to spend their valuable time on you in return for a “spotlight” on your website. They’ve just give you real estate on their turf — real estate that could convert to sales for you. What does real estate on your site do for them?

It is not an even trade.

That said, bloggers, if you are building up your brand and trying to establish a portfolio, in the early stages of your career, you may actually find it valuable to enter a few of these deals so that later, you can tell potential partners that your past clients have included Mercedes, Kraft and Living Spaces. (I just arbitrarily picked those brands from advertisements in my Facebook feed.)

* * *

MARKETERS! What are your challenges in trying to work with influencers? How is your brand moving forward with influencer marketing?

INFLUENCERS! In what (annoying) ways are you still being approached to work for free?

Overheard at #Dad2Summit

February 13, 2017 By AJ Leave a Comment

This ain’t that mom blog conference you’ve been to 20 times, y’all.

While I attended the Dad 2.0 Summit, I kept hearing things said aloud that made me think “oh, you’d never hear that at a mom blog conference,” or, “that wouldn’t mean the same thing if a woman had said it.” Sometimes those were hilarious things… and sometimes they were poignant moments that made me recall all the reasons I was dismayed by my last experience at BlogHer. Either way, in sharing all these things “overheard at #Dad2Summit,” let me tell you what I thought of my first Dad 2.0.

By the way, Dad 2.0 makes a really comfy tee.

“Hey, would you like to join us?”

The first thing I was not prepared for at Dad 2.0 was how friggin’ friendly everyone was! I showed up to the kick-off happy hour late be design because then I would not have to stay long, nor would I have to suffer from not knowing anyone there for a long while. But as soon as I walked in, I ran into someone I knew (thanks, Jessi!) and it put me at ease. Not wanting to monopolize her for the rest of the event, I strapped into my big girl pants and walked further into the room. And true, the event was nearly over by the time I got there, but so many bloggers introduced themselves to me in that time. I had amazing conversations with smart, kind men who’d hug me when they saw me for the rest of the weekend. People were inviting me to join their conversations, or pulling up a chair to join one I was having. No one flinched or judged the new people. No one stuck to their clique — I saw people moving around all over the place. It was really refreshing and I knew then that this was going to be a different conference experience.

“There’s a pretty high concentration of bald guys with beards here. What is that all about?”

I overheard one woman say that to another woman and it just cracked me up. But the bigger picture to consider is that this was/is a really diverse group. White dads, black dads, white dads with black children, stay-at-home dads, gay dads… The diversity was apparent, even advertised, praised, embraced, celebrated… What’s more, another thing I really loved at Dad 2.0? It wasn’t a fashion show. Oh sure, a lot of guys were dressed up, there was style for days, but I never felt like anyone was trying to compete with anyone else. And frankly, as I was a woman at this show, I certainly didn’t feel like I had to compete with anyone, which was liberating and left me free to focus on more important priorities.

“Would you like to drive a KIA?”

Um, YES, I would! Because in my blogging niche, no one’s ever offered me an opportunity like that before. And at blogging conferences, I’m not usually invited to the private top tier events. I’m relegated to my little corner of the “lifestyle,” non-mom blogging world and have always watched family bloggers with envy, taking cars on road trips and for test drives. So I was just a giddy doofus when a delightful Kia rep handed me the keys (metaphorically, because I drove an electric Kia Soul) and sent me on my way. It was a treat. Plus, the Kia Lounge was a lovely space to relax for a bit, chat with more new friends, and they also had a talented photographer doing free headshots for people!

“I’m really excited about this sausage, guys.” or “There’s meat. I checked.”

At a women’s blog conference, everyone obsesses over “gluten free” and “whole 30” and “OMIGOD WHERE IS THE VEGETARIAN MEAL?” It’s such a part of the dialog that my eyes don’t even roll anymore. No one obsessed over that here. I’m sure there was a veggie option and I’m sure anyone with allergies handled it like a grown up, but I never heard about it. But I did hear a lot of folks excited that breakfast always included a meat. There were dudes eating plates of only-bacon for breakfast on Friday and to them I say: RESPECT.

“There’s no line for the ladies room!”

Oh yeah, that was said by me. Every time I had to pee.

“Hang onto yer blazers!”

This must be the modern-day man-version of “hold onto your hats!” It just cracked me up.

“Are you sharing a room with a guy you don’t know?”

Well, let’s face it, at a lady conference, this would mean your Saturday night got out of control….

“Use your strength for service, not for status.”

One of our keynote speakers among the many I enjoyed at the Summit (and kudos, by the way, for not letting any of them run waaaaay too long as is often the case), was Charles “Peanut” Tillman, retired football player (Chicago Bears, Carolina Panthers). WHAT A COOL GUY. He wasn’t up there talking to hear the sound of his own voice, he wasn’t up there to be a product “evangelist.” He was dropping amazing bits of wisdom, he was asking us questions and he was aware of where he was and what he was doing there. And afterward, he left the room to take care of some media and no one chased him down for a selfie or to try and claim him as a BFF. It was a classy bit.

“Use your strength for service, not for status.” #Dad2Summit @peanuttillman

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THE PANEL

The primary reason I was at Dad 2.0, by the by, was to participate in a panel on Saturday morning called “Where We Are: Influencer Marketing.” Sharing the table with John Dominguez (Kia), Patrick Quinn (Life of Dad), Mike Satterfield (The Gentleman Racer) and our moderator, Stefania Pomponi (Clever), I found this to be one of the best speaking experiences I’ve ever had. We had a great pre-conference call to get a lay of the land, everything was organized, and the questions from the room afterward were really on point. I was also relieved that the workshop was well attended. It’s the worst feeling to prep for something like that and have no one show up. It’s happened to me a couple times now because conference attendees are veterans who don’t feel there’s much left to learn, or it’s late into the conference and they’re burnt out, or there are so many workshops happening simultaneously and it dilutes the audience. But a total blast doing this and I hope I get asked back.

* * *

Blogging has been the longest commitment I’ve ever been a part of. I began blogging in 2003 before the word was even mainstream. And so I mean it quite sincerely when I say there’s not a thing left for me to learn about the “business” at this point. I even swore I’d stay away from conferences for a while because I’d pretty much had it. And I think if you’re a super experienced blogger or influencer, you know what I mean. (Full disclosure: I only attended one educational workshop at Dad 2.0 but checked out the moment the speaker told the room how to use a social media tool but left out some of it’s best features.) But in Dad 2.0, I found a reason to keep going to conferences like this – -though I’m not sure any conference is like this one. You go for the relationships and to be around like-minded people. In this rare instance, you go to meet new friends and to try new things. You go because, as Peanut Tillman actually said (paraphrasing), “you should get comfortable being uncomfortable.”

I’m trying to keep myself from sounding corny – can you tell? But I loved Dad 2.0. I’m obsessed with it. I hope I’m asked back next year. These are people I will keep in my life and continue to work with. I encourage you to do the same.

P.S. Dad 2.0 is a sibling-conference to Mom 2.0 and I mean absolutely no disrespect to them in any of my mom-blog-conference digs because I’ve never been and I hear it’s actually quite wonderful — but let’s face it, unless I’m invited to speak like I was here (and I would be more than thrilled to), I’m never going to arbitrarily attend. 😉

When to Broadcast and When to STFU

November 21, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

When to Skip Replying All and Other Annoying Broadcasts

Group texting sucks; long live group texting!

Apple, for all their infinite genius, misses a mark in this area. If only we could exit a group text the way you can in Facebook Messenger. But that also goes for group emails, doesn’t it? Unless someone deletes you from their own “reply all” or you’re the asshole who asks to be removed, you’re stuck. And same on Twitter, basically. Once you get looped into a dialog there, you may find yourself roped into a Twitter battle all day long. (That happened to me once – I never said a thing but because someone early on wanted me to get into it, I was trapped all day with notifications.)

We are all pretty happy that Facebook also allows you to turn off notifications on individual posts now, too, right? That was great. Who are the people in your life that tag everybody they know in a post? Tell them to cut that out.

Digital messaging broadcasts. It’s a tricky area. When to do it? When to skip it?

Professional circumstances aside, because every work culture is it’s own beast, here are a few suggestions on when to skip the “reply all,”, sourced from me, my friends, colleagues — and frankly, COMMON SENSE.

Group Invites

When someone sends an email to invite 30 people to something and does not BCC everyone, it’s probably so that 30 people don’t turn around and ask “who else is invited?” But it’s not an invitation for everyone to reply all and RSVP unless they are sharing pertinent information and even then, you should second guess yourself. Is it really pertinent? For example, are you replying all to also offer a few more a ride to the destination? Well, that might be okay but perhaps the smarter alternative is to see who in your neighborhood was invited and privately offer them rides if they are attending. Are you replying all to offer to bring the wine or dessert so no one else does? Well, that might be okay — but then you are opening the floodgates for everyone to do the same thing….

The BCC

Did someone email you on blind copy where a lot of people are on “cc,” as well? Do not reply all! You were blind copied for a reason!!! Don’t do it. Slap your own hand.

One Word

If you are replying all with one or two words, it’s pretty likely you shouldn’t. No one wants to see your “me too!”, “thanks!”, or “you’re welcome.” Inside jokes are off the table, too.

Now me? I love a good witty gif-reply-all. But I know they annoy some of you. I get it.

Introductions

When someone introduces you to someone else over email, practice this reply: “Thanks so much, friend! I’m going to move you to BCC now so you don’t keep getting our emails on this thread.” Now the friend knows you replied to their contact and can step away at peace.

For all it’s wonder and convenience, folding technology into our lives certainly creates more and more rules to follow. And who knows what will trend tomorrow? And next year? Maybe in 2018, replying all will be “the thing.” But for now, tell me: What is your “reply all” nightmare?

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 — And Why I Did Not

August 8, 2016 By AJ 4 Comments

BlogHer 2016 was a bastion of both happiness and predictability.

Remarkably, 2016 marks my 14th year of blogging. Sometimes I can hardly believe it. But at BlogHer 2016, I really felt it – in ways both good and bad. The good: Walking up and down the halls, I ran into a lot of familiar faces and brand reps; people from all over whom I’ve seen at conferences over the years. Lots of smiling, excited hugs and selfies. The bad: A tipping point has hit — blogging is not what it used to be. We live in an economy of “influencers” now and straight-blogging doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.

Why I Really Loved BlogHer

I know a lot of people! And it was AWESOME to see them. I prioritized hugs, hugs and photos.

My tribe. I am part of a “Blogger Tribe” and a lot of them were also at the Conference. I was at my happiest with these women.

Hewlett Packard. When Chris Lam (What I Run Into) texts you and says “come over here,” all you should reply with is “Okay.” In this instance it meant I got to spend time in the HP suite, which was absolutely lovely, and I got to take home my very own HP Deskjet Compact All-in-one Photo Printer. I AM SO EXCITED! I never get invited to the “cool kids” table at blog conferences so this was a massive treat. The HP reps were so wonderful, and I am very grateful.
Mayim Bialik and Tig Notaro. There were a lot of celebrities present at BlogHer. These two were my favorite. They are smart, talented, provocative women who are worthy of the term “role model.”
My smart friends on panels. Seeing Xenia (Raised by Culture) talking about politics and social media and seeing Anne teaching people about Pinterest marketing was wonderful. I only had a few minutes to spend at Tiffany Romero’s media kit workshop but I still learned a ton in that short time. I mean, I know my friends are the smartest, but now a few more people do, too.

What I Didn’t Like About BlogHer

Greedy swag hoarders. There I was, listening to a very smart woman from the AdCouncil talking about all the causes bloggers could potentially align themselves with, when a blogger interrupted to whisper to me “don’t worry, I’m not cutting in, I just heard there were free shirts here.” I find that sentiment and motivation to be far too present at blog conferences.
Believe it or not, the biggest trainwreck at the Kim Kardashian keynote lunch was not a Kardashian. It was the mismanaged lunch preparation and the behavior of incredibly rude, tacky bloggers fighting over plates, which were in short supply.
I loved Tig Notaro’s event — we got to watch the pilot episode of her new Amazon series, “One Mississippi.” But it took 20 minutes to figure out how to stream the show. Did no one think to put it on a DVD? Or do a test run? And she was in the room. People were snickering at the horrid tech as I was slumping down in my seat, embarrassed to be there.
The Expo Hall. Dear lord, what happened, BlogHer? This used to exist in a convention center, now it exists in a ballroom. With some really unappealing, unrecognizable brands, might I add. Even more sad, less than halfway through Saturday, some of the brands had packed up and gone home.

What Was Predictable About BlogHer

Cliques. I saw a few posts and tweets about unfriendly people at BlogHer 2016. It’s a heartbreaking truth. I learned at my very first conference that this is the reality of attending these things. People hang out with the people they know and I’ve found that is the only way I meet new people — through the people I know. There will always be “mean girls” and “popular girls” in a giant crowd of women. I say that as fact, not as a judgement.
There was never enough water; there weren’t any snacks between meals. And what there was, was only in one ballroom.
The sponsors are still very mom-heavy. Lots of breakfasts and activities did not apply to me. Many expo “hall” vendors wanted moms. Lots of take-home items were for kids. When I got home, I found fertility vitamins in my giftbag. (Not to mention Vagisil — ew.)
The panels were filled with other bloggers and I don’t need to pay what BlogHer costs to hear from other bloggers. Especially as so many bloggers are monetizing and running their mini miedia empires as full-time gigs. We all know what we’re doing now. There has been a pervasive rumor for years that BlogHer may soon break out into smaller, more niche conferences and I think that would be a smart move. A conference for newbies, a conference for pros, a conference for full-timers or part-times. There’s a lot of ways to do it; to break the mold. This many years into the conference, it surprises me that as an organization, BlogHer still refuses to up their game and set themselves apart by recruiting notable brand reps, publicists, social media practitioners and marketers to present on panels (and yes, I’m really frustrated that the same people keep getting asked to speak year after year and I am always passed over). Blogalicious does this well. ConnectHER does this well.

Anyway….

From a business standpoint, I must concede that attending BlogHer is still a good experience. Buy the networking badge and collect business cards. Get a feel for the climate of the blogging universe. Walk the Expo and see what brands are doing to work with influencers. BlogHer is reliable for that. It’s clearly not the giant it used to be but it’s still valuable in this sense. And perhaps as they further integrate with SheKnows Media, we’ll see a new incarnation of the event in years to come that will blow our minds. I sincerely hope that is what happens.

After BlogHer 2014 in San Jose, I declared that I would never attend another BlogHer. I made an exception this year because it was here in Los Angeles. If it is elsewhere next year, which is likely because it does rotate, and it remains stagnant, I’m resting back on my post San Jose declaration again. But I had a really, really terrific time seeing friends and colleagues at BlogHer 2016.

Oh — and meeting Tiny. Obviously.

You Should Be Using Twitter Lists

November 10, 2015 By AJ Leave a Comment

I still love Twitter, though a number of articles that claim it’s dying (I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!). For real-time news and as a sort of thought-purge (those quippy one-liners I just have to put out into the world), it works for me. I was an early adopter of the platform and have a huge attachment to it. The best tip I can give you to love it is this: customization.

A big part of that is Twitter Lists. They came along in 2009 as a response to Facebook groups; they offer a way for you to bunch together users on Twitter into groups so that you can get an overview of what they’re up to. Consider that the most active Twitter users might follow hundreds or thousands of people — there is just no way to see every single tweet. But segmenting them makes the consumption process a little more streamlined.

Reasons you might create a Twitter list(s):

You want to be able to just see the latest news or just what close friends are up to.
You share a common interest. (I keep a list of “Kings fans” I “watch” hockey games with and it’s become a really fun way to watch games when home watching alone!)
You need to monitor certain accounts for a work project. (i.e. You’re going to a conference and want to follow other people going; You work with bloggers and want to monitor what a bunch of them are writing about, etc.)
You want to follow all the people you work with or all of your relatives.
You want to recommend a certain group of people for others to follow (because other people can subscribe to your lists).
You follow a b’zillion out of obligation but really only care what 25 people are actually up to.
You want to see what some folks are up to without actually following them (yes, you can add users to lists that you aren’t actually following).

How is this accomplished? Twitter makes it really easy with this guide.

Where do you find your lists once you’ve created them? Right here. And here’s a good thing to keep in mind — if you ever unfollow someone on Twitter who happens to be a on a list, you should also go into your gears and remove them from the list(s) as well — unless you want them to keep showing up on the list.

You can also use the lists page to see what lists other people have you on. Switch your view to “Member of.”

Keep in mind when you add someone to a list, they will be notified. So if you’re like me, and you keep that aforementioned list of people you really care about among all the noise, you may want to make it a private list so that A. no one is notified and B. no one is offended. Or let’s say you’re eyeing potential clients? Keeping tabs on competitors? Make that a private list, guru.

Don’t panic. It sounds like a lot of work but it’s worth the effort. Set aside an hour or two some Sunday afternoon when you’re watching Law & Order SVU episodes on USA that you’ve seen a thousand times before anyway and go to this website, TwitListManager. This is a GREAT, basic tool to get started with. Because you probably already follow a ton of people and going to each and every profile and adding them to lists could take forever and your time is valuable. TLM allows you to do it much more efficiently if you’re just starting out with lists. And then moving forward, whenever you follow someone new, just be sure to add them where you need them.

BONUS: If you use a Twitter application like Hootsuite or Tweetdeck, you can spread out your streams and it ends up looking like a Twitter Master Control. You can additionally create lists or streams for one hashtag or one keyword you want to monitor. It makes the entire Twitter experience much more high end and meaningful.

P.S. That’s Tweet deck. It’s my fave. I’m old school.

P.P.S. That’s not even all of the lists I use.

Not sold? Confused? Drop a question in the comments and I’ll help you out!

Not the Worst Pitch I’ve Ever Gotten, But Maybe the Most Irresponsible

August 13, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

I held my breath and my face burned with anger as I read this pitch:

We hear it all of the time: “she’s so bipolar?” “This weather is bipolar.” Or a joke about someone being happy one second, then sad the next. But what do people mean by that, and what exactly does a bipolar diagnosis mean for a person? …. In Exit Stage Left, you’ll discover the exact set of tools and strategies Tilly Dunn used to finally break free from the grip of anti-psychotic medications after taking them faithfully for 42 years…. “I want to share my joy with you…. if I can do it, so can you. I’ll show you how I did it.”

Who is Tilly Dunn?

Born in the Netherlands, Tilly Dunn is the youngest of six children. She later migrated to Canada, and in 1956, at the age of just 11, started 51 years of suicidal thinking in waves after her first failed suicide attempt. In 1970, insult was added to injury with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. She is hoping her book can help others who are going through similar circumstances.

“If I can do it, so can you.”

Nope. Not even a little.

Look, I don’t want to tear down a woman of a certain age who’s come out on top following a huge battle with a serious illness (and that’s what bipolarism is, guys; it’s a serious illness). But I think it’s irresponsible with a biography like this and a description like that to shout “If I can do it, so can you.” “What does a bipolar diagnosis mean for a person?” You cannot answer that question with a blanket statement. This book is 183 pages long and I can’t even imagine how you explain the disease in all its complexity and clinical levels, tell your story, and then preach overcoming it sans “anti-psychotic medications” in that short a page count.

It’s also worth pointing out that with some light digging, I was able to find out that even though the author doesn’t have a functioning website, she does happen to be a registered nurse with a specialty in palliative care. I mean, at least put that in the author biography, right? Tell me that in the email. And for crying out loud, toss a disclosure in there or something. The only other voice lending credibility to this book is one five-star review on Amazon from someone proclaiming an expertise because he has a PhD in applied sciences.

“Insult was added to injury.”

Just stop right there. If you are struggling with depression and attempting suicide and lurking in those really dark places no one likes to talk about at dinner parties, then I have to tell you, getting a diagnosis like this is not an insult, it’s a blessing. Because now that someone with a medical degree and years of experience has diagnosed you (I hope, I hope), you can get treatment — whatever that may be. Whatever works for you.

And I think, at the very least, if the publicist ignores it, the publisher knows it, because this appears on page three of the book:

But what do I know? Don’t take my word for it. This book is endorsed by The School of Complementary Therapies! (That’s also on page three.)

And just to be clear, all that aside because I actually believe the author, however delusional she may appear to me, is coming from a positive place and again, I fully acknowledge she’s been through a struggle and has come out on top, my point is, THIS PITCH IS IRRESPONSIBLE.

Subject Matters I Absolutely Will Not Blog About

June 26, 2015 By AJ Leave a Comment

Like, for reals, don’t even try it.

I’m taking my PR hat off for a minute because sometimes, empathy just doesn’t enter into it. I get at least a dozen pitches a week that turn my stomach or simply just annoy me. And that’s not counting the countless mom-targeted pitches I get (no, I will not write about your revolutionary, recyclable cloth diaper). I’m talking about the tacky, baseless, gratuitous and often exploitive pitches.

So here they are — a few topics, subjects and themes I will absolutely, never ever write about, cover or respond to.

A political candidate’s swell new logo.
A comprehensive speculation about what a political candidate’s logo might look like.
Your client who may or may not be an expert on: transgendered celebrities, suicide, racism or whatever hot button topic is trending in the news.
What your client thinks about the untimely and tragic death of [insert celebrity name here].
Selena Gomez was spotted wearing your client’s jewelry? Don’t care.
An event that happened that I did not attend and wasn’t even invited to.
Your store opening in Dubuque, Iowa.
Your Kickstarter/Indiegogo/GoFundMe. Stoppit.
“Can I call you to talk about this?” Nope.
Anything about or related to urinating or menstruating. Sooooo not my thing, guys.
Your site published this amazing video! Will I drive traffic off of my site to yours so more people will watch it? No, I won’t.
Cameron Diaz is on the cover of Cosmo next month! (Clarification: That is a sarcastic exclamation point.)
Anything addressed to a name that isn’t mine.
Jamberry nails. Or any multilevel marketing (MLM) product for that matter.

I was not content to stop there, either. I asked some other bloggers what pitches turn them off.

“Supplements that promise weight loss, fat burning, energy or any other miraculous claim.” – Melissa, The Valentine RD
“Trying to get pregnant products, experts, tips, et al.” -Chris, What I Run Into
“Your client’s infographic.” -Lindsay, Fit & Awesome
“Bodies need to be cold before your expert talks about why they killed themselves…” -Jessica, The Other PTA

Today we celebrate a monumental Supreme Court ruling that reverses bans on same-sex marriage. By Monday I have no doubt my inbox will be cluttered with “expert” pitches, celebrity wedding planners, etc.

So tell me, fellow bloggers, what else chaps your hide the second it hits your inbox?

Twitter Pet Peeves

June 16, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

Twitter may be imploding just a little – and we’re not helping

Get it together, guys!

Sigh. Friends, we need to talk about Twitter. The company is currently battling challenges that include buzzwords like “IPO,” “profitability,” and “stock price,” as it bids adieu to supposedly beloved CEO Dick Costolo and welcomes back, if only temporarily, one of its co-founders, Jack Dorsey, as interim CEO. (You heard it here first: Jack is totally sticking around. Also, I love Jack Dorsey.)

(Left to right) Costolo and Twitter co-founders Dorsey, Evan Williams and Biz Stone

In any case, it may or may not be kind of a mess over there, right? I tweet several times a day — how often do people RT or reply? Sometimes. Often. Seldom. Who cares? I always say Twitter is the platform you have to make work for you. I don’t know how many of my followers are really seeing what I put out there, but I keep trying. I do try my best to engage with others, and lists help, but it’s rough out there.

– PRO TIP! To better manager Twitter lists: TwitListManager –

In any case, while the company tries to sort themselves out and find a way to bring the community feel back (and they will!), I polled Social Media Club for their twitter pet peeves. I agree with every. single. one.

“I will almost never follow-back an egg (no profile picture), a profile that is all hashtags, or anyone who’s fixated on asking for a follow-back before any other interaction.” -@Stevens1, Swimmer Media
“Gurus, ninjas, disruptors and game-changers.” -@JeniferVides
“When they start a tweet with @jessicagottlieb because that ensures like eight people will see it….” -@JessicaGottlieb
“Blatant in-line hashtag overuse.” -@JessiSanfilippo, Shuggilippo

Hey. Don't be a hash-hole. http://t.co/BmUIhjGHb2

— Jess Sanfilippo (@JessSanfilippo) June 15, 2015

“PR pitch via tweet. I’m finding this is happening a lot lately especially from mobile app companies. I can’t think of a less personal form of initial contact.” -@cbaccus
“Accounts that only post from other platforms. i.e. Facebook.” -@busybeeblogger
“Auto DM is the worst ever.” -@LTSurf, Fit & Awesome (Note: this was , far and away, the overwhelming, top, top complaint from people about Twitter. Pay attention, tweeple.)

Yes, this is really how I answered.

“Corporate/company do-nothing customer service departments. Pretty useless.” -@MrJonBurk
“People who just tweet constantly – 100 or so times a day – just grabbing clips or what not and posting them. Just clogs my stream when I’m trying to get something good.” -@datatv
And a great article shared by @jspepper: “U.S. Companies ignore 80% of Twitter questions from customers… Brands are tired of responding to dumb questions on Twitter.” [more]

I also really dislike “laddering.” Never heard that term? Imagine 500 bloggers in a Facebook group. One posts “put a link to your twitter account here and let’s all follow each other!” Does it make your follow count go up? Sure. Does it earn you the engaged followers that brands who work with bloggers and influencers want you to have? Absolutely not. Do a lot of those bloggers go back and unfollow you later? Absolutely yes. Should you use an application like Crowdfire to methodically add and subtract your follows? I beg you not to.

Which brings me to the case of the curiously desperate blogger. A blogger who follows and unfollows me weekly. I assumed it was a pursuit to get me to follow her back but I wouldn’t. Eventually realized it was an auto thing via Crowdfire. Really irritating to me.

Fun spin, though: I declared I’d donate $20 to a charity every time she followed me again — so far charities have netted $160 out of me. I get to stick it to her and feel really good about myself. 😉

When a Backpack Isn’t Just a Backpack

May 27, 2015 By AJ 1 Comment

When a Herschel Supply Co. Backpack is magic.

I have been wanting a new laptop backpack for quite some time — I typically go for a backpack rather than a shoulder bag or cross-body. I typically buy a 15 – 17″ laptop and even the lightest ones are heavy on just one shoulder. My old, reliable, plain black laptop Targus Backpack has held up well over the years but a while ago I got fixated on something snazzier.

You know how it is. Sometimes you just see a product you like and obsess.

So I obsessed over the Herschel Supply Co. Mid-Volume Rubber Backpack you see over yonder. It comes in a b’zillion colors and patterns but of course, I gravitated toward something gray and black. And when I felt like I could splurge on it, I ordered it from Amazon. It arrived shortly thereafter and I brought the box into my bedroom, tore it open and was excited I loved it as much in person as I did the photo. (I’d seen the bag in person in several of the other shades, but not the one I picked out on the web.)

I had no immediate need to use it, though, so I put it down, back in the box, with its protective plastic and tissue paper. And there it sat for a week or so.

It was then that, unfortunately, I got laid off from my job.

Once I was past the initial devastation that comes with such a thing, the box containing the backpack tortured me further. I felt horrible guilt for spending on it and more so because I still loved it and could not bring myself to return it. Yet it stayed in the box and long went unused.

It’s amazing how complicated a relationship with a simple backpack can be. Amazing what it ultimately represented.

Complicated indeed. At last, this morning, before I began my fourth week at my new(ish) job, I went for the backpack feeling much like a child on the first day of school with shiny new pencils and such. School supplies, whether or not we realized it, always represented fresh beginnings, a clean slate and maybe even triumph. Again I say, it’s amazing what this backpack ultimately represented.

I put all my things into it and, at last, walked out of the house with it over my shoulders, smiling and feeling very happy.

Obligatory disclosure: This post contains some affiliate links. If you click on them and happen to make a purchase, I’ll make about 25 cents. A true embarrassment of riches.