AJ Feuerman

Publicist | Social Media Strategist | Brunch Fanatic

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Different for girls by Dierks Bentley

September 10, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

It is, in fact, NOT different for girls, Dierks Bentley.

The first time I heard this song on the radio, I had to force myself to keep the station on and finish it. I picture him writing it and giving himself a big ol’ pat on the back. “Good work, self,” he says. “What a loving tribute to women.” I think he intended the song as a compliment. I hope he was trying to wink and say “I love women. I love how delicate they are.” But in essence, all he’s done as far as I’m concerned, is released a hugely sexist single and offended the shit ouf of me. (I won’t claim to be a spokesperson for all women. Maybe some of y’all dig the song. I don’t know.)

Those lyrics, though…. Let’s break that down, shall we?

She don’t throw any t-shirt on and walk to a bar
She don’t text her friends and say, “I gotta get laid tonight.”
She don’t say, “It’s okay, I never loved him anyway.”
She don’t scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid

Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever done any of these things. Dierks, don’t fool yourself. Women self medicate with sex just like you do. Even AskMen.com knows we’re not angels and you know what? THAT IS OKAY. Life is meant to be lived, not endured.

Different for girls by Dierks Bentley

It’s different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can’t tape it back together with a whiskey and coke
They don’t take someone home and act like it’s nothing
They can’t just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
But it’s different for girls

Can anyone tape their heart back together with a whiskey and coke?! I would like to meet that person. But women self-soothe with booze (my choice is a dirty martini) as much as dudes do, right? We all know that — come on.

As for the notion that women (oh wait, I’ve been forgetting — girls) can’t “switch it off” every time they feel something? Oh sure we can. I can. Just watch me. Although, for the record, if we all wanna get medical for a minute, you know as well as I do no one can TRULY shut emotions OFF. But what we’re really doing is pretending, right? Throwing up defense mechanisms? Human beings do this as their very nature. All the live long day; male or female.

Different for girls by Dierks Bentley

And if you think girls don’t “get drunk and hook up,” then you have been socializing in pretty conservative circles, my friend.

Pushing back tears!? Well, sadly, yes, I can do that too. I think it’s sad anyone should have to; that a stigma is attached to crying like it’s a sign of total capitulation and weakness, but so be it. Suddenly we’re not supposed to feel things, I suppose. We have to be tough. But that’s not exclusive to a gender.

She don’t sleep all day and leave the house a wreck

Okay. Stop right there while I laugh and laugh…. Have we met?

She don’t have the luxury to let herself go

No, no I don’t. But sometimes we all let ourselves go, don’t we, Dierks? Sometimes we all need a little freshening up…

Different for girls by Dierks Bentley
(She won’t call just to curse from a wall, she can push
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough)

That’s right. Guys can just act tough but girls can’t. Just ask a certain female Presidential Candidate who’s under fire for not smiling enough.

It’s different for girls
Nobody said it was fair
When love disappears, they can’t pretend it was never there

Well now you’re just fooling yourself again. Stoppit. (And no, it’s not fair at all.)

A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough
So tough
It’s different for girls
It’s different for girls

Yes. It is different for girls. But not this way. You’ve certainly not done the explanation justice, sir.

Go home, Dierks Bentley – you’re drunk.

Different for girls by Dierks Bentley

Filed Under: Pop Culture Tagged With: country music, Dierks Bentley, Different for Girls, Lyrics, Misogynist, Sexist

What’s In My Pocket Friday – Star Trek Edition!

September 9, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

Best of the web

We are boldly going, y’all. The best of the web – Star Trek things for everyone!

The company I work for is distributing the amazing Nimoy “Spock Doc,” “For The Love of Spock.” It’s directed by Adam Nimoy and shines a spotlight on both his famous father and his father’s most iconic role, Mr. Spock. It’s a warm, wonderful, incredibly well made film and I think even non Star Trek fans would love it. It’s been the MOST fun to work on for PR. The feedback has been stellar and as a lifelong Trekkie, it’s all been a personal joy for me as well. If I’ve intrigued you enough, make sure you check your local listings because it’s out TODAY in select theaters. But if you can’t find it, never fear — it’s also available on demand, on iTunes, Google Play, Amazon. Basically ALL THE THINGS.

As yesterday was the actual 50th anniversary of STAR TREK’s initial premiere, there was a TON of nerd-juice for me to drink in yesterday. This is gonna be the NERDIEST POST EVER. Live long and prosper.

Best of the Web - Star Trek

  • Rick Bentley’s review of my company’s film “For The Love of Spock” is my favorite one because he says it’s a “beautifully crafted salute to a pop culture icon” and it warms my heart. (FYI, it’s 100% on Rotten Tomatoes right now!)
  • OMG this Etsy shop! I am geeking out over it.

Best of the Web - Star Trek

  • Mayim Bialik interviewed Adam Nimoy for her fantastic website, GrokNation. I love this.
  • Jason Alexander is also a well known Trekkie. His trivia clip with Mashable is GREAT!
  • Variety ran a really nice piece with Star Trek family members recounting their favorite episodes.
  • Facebook’s little emoji tribute MADE MY WEEK!

Best of the Web - Star Trek

  • And my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE THINGS? Of course – “Live Long and Paws-per” from ThinkGeek:

Filed Under: Pop Culture Tagged With: Corgis, For The Love of Spock, Pocket Fridays, Spock, Star Trek, ThinkGeek

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge?

September 6, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge? That is the question.

In the far and distant fairy tale land of West Hollywood lies a charming haven where the chic and hip can go for cocktails and childcare.

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge?

Au Fudge, founded by actress Jessica Biel, is a restaurant that presumably caters to children as well as adults. You enter through a rustic, country gift shop that also sells baked goods. To your left you’ll find a sunny patio with striped umbrellas and plaid throw pillows. Beyond, a delightful cafe setting adorned with pastels and rustic, art deco-inspired decor as well as tchotchkes to remind you that you are in a kid-friendly place. The hub of the restaurant is a pretty large “daycare.” They actually call it the “creative space.” It is enclosed, filled with craft tables, toys, and staffed. It is available for parents to drop their kids into at a pretty affordable rate ($15 for two hours) so they can dine…. in peace?

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge?

The thing is, plenty of people still bring their children into the Au Fudge restaurant as well, and that’s fine. Nothing about this place says “no” in any way, shape or form. In fact, Au Fudge basically screams out “AS YOU WISH” at every turn. Everyone is smiling and extremely accommodating. They have anticipated every parent need. There are crayons on the table, more things to play with, and even the cocktails look like they’re kid-friendly in this space. And there is certainly a kids menu although I think I paid like $14 for the grilled cheese sticks that were good. But only good.

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge?

For brunch I had a French Omelette that was truly delicious. It was light and fluffy and decadent.

To Au Fudge or Not to Au Fudge?

The service was good; I’ll give them that. And it’s not a bad place by any means. So, to Au Fudge or not to Au Fudge? I don’t know. Maybe. If I was meeting up with friends with kids and was in an especially patient mood. Or if I was itching to have brunch outside and I was in that area. But then again, there are plenty of other appealing Brunch options in that area like Taste On Melrose that I’d sooner visit. I don’t mind sharing my table with babies and kids, but I think in the end, I see no shame in admitting that I do mind sharing space with dozens of them.

Critical pro-tip: This place gets CROWDED and on the narrow part of Melrose where it sits, that is bad news. The valet is over-burdened and often backed up. Not to mention a bit pricey. Have patience, have cash, or park somewhere else and walk over!

Don’t forget! If you love brunch as much as I do — or hell, even half as much as I do, you’ll want to put your email address into the newsletter subscription box in the top right corner!  A new blast is coming soon!

Filed Under: Brunch, Foodie Tagged With: Au Fudge, Brunch, Jessica Biel, Restaurant, West Hollywood

What’s In My Pocket Friday

August 12, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

Best of the web

Greetings, everybody! I went to two conventions and on one vacation in just the last week so I am a tired, tired lady, but I am also really excited about my next trip — this coming Wednesday! August is insane. Work is insane. I AM INSANE. 😉 But anyway, I had a moment of clarity and suddenly felt twitchy to get a blog post up. And here is the “Best of the Web” I’ve saved in my “pocket” throughout the madness:

What's In My Pocket Friday

 

  • OH MY WORD THE OLYMPICS. Why am I crying so much this year?
    • Every time there’s an Olympics, I put together a moving photo tribute. Check it out.
    • Just going on record to say that even though I love the games, NBC’s coverage just blows. Get yer shit together, NBC.
    • Gold Medal gymnast Simone Biles has a life-sized Zac Efron cut-out. I am jealous.
    • This new Under Armour commercial with Michael Phelps gives me ALL THE FEELS! (For added fun, check out the video of his and his fiancee’s reaction to seeing it for the first time.)

  • The wicked geniuses at Cards Against Humanity are selling special expansion packs. One for Hillary, one for Donald. All proceeds go to Clinton’s campaign so I do not care which one you buy.
  • LAist published a list of the best brunch patios in Los Angeles and it’s a FANTASTIC list. It includes my most favorite brunch spot (Cliff’s Edge) and the one I am currently the most eager to try (Terrine).

What's In My Pocket Friday - Best of the Web

  • I saw “Suicide Squad” and it’s legitimately one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. There is about an hour of exposition, we get backstory on some characters and not others, the plot is terribly constructed, the climax is not even that climactic, some of the acting is terrible, and so on from there.  The Hollywood Picture News touched on it.
  • Social Media Club’s August event is going to be a lot of fun! We’re having a debate between in-house, freelance and agency positions. Whose team will you side with? Register here.

Earlier This Week….

  • I wrote a post about some new brunches I love.
  • I recapped BlogHer 2016, which both sucked and didn’t suck.
  • My family lived in a “Manor” and it was awesome. And now I need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Amanda J Feuerman (@ajfeuerman)

 

 

 

Filed Under: Pocket Fridays Tagged With: Best of the web, BlogHer, Brunch, Cards Against Humanity, Cliff's Edge, Clinton, Pocket Fridays, vacation

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 — And Why I Did Not

August 8, 2016 By AJ 4 Comments

BlogHer 2016 was a bastion of both happiness and predictability.

Remarkably, 2016 marks my 14th year of blogging. Sometimes I can hardly believe it. But at BlogHer 2016, I really felt it – in ways both good and bad. The good: Walking up and down the halls, I ran into a lot of familiar faces and brand reps; people from all over whom I’ve seen at conferences over the years. Lots of smiling, excited hugs and selfies. The bad: A tipping point has hit — blogging is not what it used to be. We live in an economy of “influencers” now and straight-blogging doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.

Why I Really Loved BlogHer

  • I know a lot of people! And it was AWESOME to see them. I prioritized hugs, hugs and photos.

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 -- And Why I Did Not

  • My tribe. I am part of a “Blogger Tribe” and a lot of them were also at the Conference. I was at my happiest with these women.

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 -- And Why I Did Not

  • Hewlett Packard. When Chris Lam (What I Run Into) texts you and says “come over here,” all you should reply with is “Okay.” In this instance it meant I got to spend time in the HP suite, which was absolutely lovely, and I got to take home my very own HP Deskjet Compact All-in-one Photo Printer. I AM SO EXCITED! I never get invited to the “cool kids” table at blog conferences so this was a massive treat. The HP reps were so wonderful, and I am very grateful.
  • Mayim Bialik and Tig Notaro. There were a lot of celebrities present at BlogHer. These two were my favorite. They are smart, talented, provocative women who are worthy of the term “role model.”
  • My smart friends on panels. Seeing Xenia (Raised by Culture) talking about politics and social media and seeing Anne teaching people about Pinterest marketing was wonderful. I only had a few minutes to spend at Tiffany Romero’s media kit workshop but I still learned a ton in that short time. I mean, I know my friends are the smartest, but now a few more people do, too.

What I Didn’t Like About BlogHer

  • Greedy swag hoarders. There I was, listening to a very smart woman from the AdCouncil talking about all the causes bloggers could potentially align themselves with, when a blogger interrupted to whisper to me “don’t worry, I’m not cutting in, I just heard there were free shirts here.” I find that sentiment and motivation to be far too present at blog conferences.
  • Believe it or not, the biggest trainwreck at the Kim Kardashian keynote lunch was not a Kardashian. It was the mismanaged lunch preparation and the behavior of incredibly rude, tacky bloggers fighting over plates, which were in short supply.
  • I loved Tig Notaro’s event — we got to watch the pilot episode of her new Amazon series, “One Mississippi.” But it took 20 minutes to figure out how to stream the show. Did no one think to put it on a DVD? Or do a test run? And she was in the room. People were snickering at the horrid tech as I was slumping down in my seat, embarrassed to be there.
  • The Expo Hall.  Dear lord, what happened, BlogHer? This used to exist in a convention center, now it exists in a ballroom. With some really unappealing, unrecognizable brands, might I add. Even more sad, less than halfway through Saturday, some of the brands had packed up and gone home.

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 -- And Why I Did Not

What Was Predictable About BlogHer

  • Cliques. I saw a few posts and tweets about unfriendly people at BlogHer 2016. It’s a heartbreaking truth. I learned at my very first conference that this is the reality of attending these things. People hang out with the people they know and I’ve found that is the only way I meet new people — through the people I know. There will always be “mean girls” and “popular girls” in a giant crowd of women. I say that as fact, not as a judgement.
  • There was never enough water; there weren’t any snacks between meals. And what there was, was only in one ballroom.
  • The sponsors are still very mom-heavy. Lots of breakfasts and activities did not apply to me. Many expo “hall” vendors wanted moms. Lots of take-home items were for kids. When I got home, I found fertility vitamins in my giftbag. (Not to mention Vagisil — ew.)
  • The panels were filled with other bloggers and I don’t need to pay what BlogHer costs to hear from other bloggers. Especially as so many bloggers are monetizing and running their mini miedia empires as full-time gigs. We all know what we’re doing now. There has been a pervasive rumor for years that BlogHer may soon break out into smaller, more niche conferences and I think that would be a smart move. A conference for newbies, a conference for pros, a conference for full-timers or part-times. There’s a lot of ways to do it; to break the mold. This many years into the conference, it surprises me that as an organization, BlogHer still refuses to up their game and set themselves apart by recruiting notable brand reps, publicists, social media practitioners and marketers to present on panels (and yes, I’m really frustrated that the same people keep getting asked to speak year after year and I am always passed over). Blogalicious does this well. ConnectHER does this well.

Anyway….

From a business standpoint, I must concede that attending BlogHer is still a good experience. Buy the networking badge and collect business cards. Get a feel for the climate of the blogging universe. Walk the Expo and see what brands are doing to work with influencers. BlogHer is reliable for that. It’s clearly not the giant it used to be but it’s still valuable in this sense. And perhaps as they further integrate with SheKnows Media, we’ll see a new incarnation of the event in years to come that will blow our minds. I sincerely hope that is what happens.

After BlogHer 2014 in San Jose, I declared that I would never attend another BlogHer. I made an exception this year because it was here in Los Angeles. If it is elsewhere next year, which is likely because it does rotate, and it remains stagnant, I’m resting back on my post San Jose declaration again. But I had a really, really terrific time seeing friends and colleagues at BlogHer 2016.

Oh — and meeting Tiny. Obviously.

Why I Loved BlogHer 2016 -- And Why I Did Not

Filed Under: Pro Tips Tagged With: AirBud, Blogalicious, Bloggers, BlogHer, ConnectHer, Hewlett Packard, HP, Kim Kardashian, Mayim Bialik, One Mississippi, Pupstar, Tig Notaro

I’m Not a Mom But I Loved ‘Bad Moms’

July 31, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD SEE ‘BAD MOMS’ THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A MOM

I was incredibly opposed to the movie “Bad Moms” when the trailer first hit. While I’m clearly not a mom myself (and let’s just consider that the main edict throughout this post), I sort of resented the idea that a woman who shoved responsibility aside to have a great time with friends and treat herself was “bad.” The trailer left me feeling like this was another misogynistic faux female-driven movie.

It also left a sour taste in my mouth when, on the day of another tragic shooting, several mom bloggers were tweeting up a storm about the film without any regard for current events. They were interviewing the cast, which was no doubt exciting, but it was really gross to see “OMG! Mila Kunis is totally gorgeous!” in my Twitter feed right underneath “More police dead. This world needs change. #BlackLivesMatter.”

Anyway, I wasn’t going to see it. But I really like Kathryn Hahn and think she’s underrated. Then someone in my office told me I really needed to see it — mostly because of her — and I found myself with a Saturday evening free and a willing friends to join me.  Off I went.

I'm Not a Mom But I Loved Bad Moms

Mea culpa. I was too quick to judge. I was completely wrong. “Bad Moms” RULES.  The theater was 95% mothers (the irony of about two dozen of them rushing in during the opening credits was not lost on me), and there my friend and I were, loving this movie not as moms but as women. You should see this movie. Mom or not. Here are some of the reasons why.

1. Kathryn Hahn.

Yes, she is really, really funny in this. I think Kathryn Hahn may have a shot at Judy Greer’s title of “Best ‘that girl you know from that thing’.” Check out her IMDB page if you don’t know what else you’ve seen her in. Her performance in this film is also FEARLESS. I hope it does not go un-appreciated.

(For those of you who have also seen the movie, let me also just say I have no idea how Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell kept a straight face during any scene with her — especially the “penis” demonstration. I clutched my stomach and wiped away tears from laughing so hard during that scene.)

2. Mom-fantasy.

There is this great moment in “Bad Moms” where the ladies are sitting around a table discussing their greatest “mom fantasies.” Like having breakfast in a quiet room alone. Or having a car accident that is not so terrible to cause anyone harm, but traumatic enough to afford one mom an opportunity to sleep in a hospital for a night or two with cable television and her food served to her in bed.

When I had my gallbladder removed, I joked how awesome it really was because I got to lay in a remote-controlled bed for two days, watch Oprah and have my meals served to me on a tray. And let’s be honest here, you don’t have to have kids to have a fantasy like this. Any woman whose life is not entirely hers can relate, right? We all bookmarks hotels where we’d like to have “staycations” and save up for spa days.

3. Because I have a mom.

It’s true, I do. And she probably doesn’t get enough credit for raising me and my brother.  And she always worked but never missed a soccer game or school play. And found time to make dinner, bake cookies, clean, take us to doctor’s appointments, singing lessons and friends’ houses, and have date nights with our dad (42 years married this October, guys).

I also have friends who are mothers, cousins who are mothers… you get the idea.

Hint: Stay for the credits.

4. Girl power.

Because Deadline’s headline on the “Bad Moms” box office references “purses.” Because headlines like this about the premiere exist: “Jay Hernandez & David Walton Bring Out The Stars For ‘Bad Moms’ Premiere!” Dreamy guys? Yes. Bring out the stars? Maybe. This movie stars Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn, Christina Applegate, Jada Pinkett Smith and Annie Mumolo (who co-wrote “Bridesmaids,” by the way). Hernandez and Walton are delicious eye-candy and I do not mean to say they aren’t talented, but they sure-as-shit were not the focal point of the film nor the film’s red carpet premiere.

Consider the chorus of dissenting voices that rose up when Paul Feig’s “Ghostbusters” remake was announced. Hollywood has a hard time accepting women-lead comedies and action movies. And we deserve real, true-to-life raunchy comedies like this as well as smart, clever, friendlier ones like “Ghostbusters.” We deserve kick-ass women like Kate McKinnon and Charlize Theron and Amy Poehler. And they deserve equal billing and equal pay.

Read this article from New York Magazine for more on why this matters. A friend sent it to me when I was having trouble understanding the gravity of this discussion and now I keep it bookmarked.

Filed Under: Pop Culture Tagged With: Bad Moms, Female Comedy, Ghostbusters, Girl Power, Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, Movie

Why It’s Been So Hard to Write Lately

July 27, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

And why I’m writing now

  • Days since I’ve published a post on this site: 15
  • Days since I’ve published a post on COFG: 63

It would be easy to blame why It’s been so hard to write lately on work. Work has definitely been busy and I am definitely exhausted. But that’s not really the whole story. In truth, I haven’t wanted to write. I haven’t felt like it. I haven’t really felt inspired.

But last night I watched Michelle Obama give one of the most incredible political speeches I’ve ever heard and tonight I saw a woman become her party’s nominee for President of the United States, so consider me inspired.

Why It's Been So Hard to Write Lately - And Why I'm Writing Now

If you haven’t seen it, bookmark this page. When you ave 15 minutes to spare, come back and watch.

There is a lot of bad in this world right now but everything that speech stands for is moving and wonderful.

I promise it will not be another 15 days before you hear from me again.

Filed Under: Pop Culture Tagged With: DNC, Election, Michelle Obama, Speech

What’s In My Pocket Friday

July 11, 2016 By AJ Leave a Comment

What’s In My Pocket, Friday? The best of…. something.

This was meant for Friday, but I did not have the will to finish it on Friday. Today I decided I needed it.

While I’ve not posted here or in my other blog in a rather embarrassing amount of time, it suddenly seemed important to me to put something out into the world that wasn’t… dark. I’m overwhelmingly sickened by the state of the world right now and if you thought I was laughing before, I’m downright hysterical now.

So here are things I’ve saved in my “pocket” that, hopefully, will make us all feel a little better — even if only for a short while.

What's In My Pocket Friday

If you don’t know who Justin Tranter is, you probably know his music. He’s responsible for Gwen Stefani’s new album, most of Selena Gomez’s, a lot of Britney, a lot of Bieber… I know Justin because we share a mutual friend dating back to college when we saw him play with his band, Semi Precious Weapons, at the coffee shop at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. (His former bassist, Cole Whittle, now plays for DNCE.)

Anyway, the day after a gunman killed 49 people and wounded 53 at Pulse in Orlando last month, Justin got on a plane. He lent a hand wherever he could but he wanted to do more. The result is “Hands,” a track released earlier this week that features Selena Gomez, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefani, Mary J. Blige, Pink, Juanes, Kacey Musgraves, Adam Lambert and many more. Proceeds from the song, available exclusively on iTunes, will benefit Equality Florida, the GLBT Community Center of Central Florida and Glaad.

Similarly, the Broadway community came together on an episode of “Maya and Marty” to sing their iTunes single for charity. It’s rather beautiful:

Music brings me a lot of peace and joy. So do puppies. My friend Lisa got a new puppy and I love each and every photo she shares of her on Instagram. And since I absolutely refuse to sit on the internet all day reading the news at this point, I choose to have the puppy cam on.

This post on Facebook made me laugh:

 And I thought this video Rufus Wainwright posted on Facebook was beautiful:

If you just need a good, great, gut-busting laugh? Well then you should click over to Buzzfeed for some hilarious tweets about kids!

 

3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy’s card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015

This quote also struck me as rather serene and I wanted to conclude with it:

What's In My Pocket Friday

Filed Under: Pocket Fridays Tagged With: Buzzfeed, Hallelujah, Hands, Justin Tranter, Maya and Marty, Music, Orlando, Puppies, Rufus Wainwright

All of the Reasons I’m Laughing Today

June 13, 2016 By AJ 2 Comments

Love Wins. Suck it.

I don’t really consider myself an eloquent writer. Mind you, I have no problem expressing myself but when I think about the word “eloquence” in relation to blogging, good friends like Jessica Gottlieb and Chloe Jeffreys come to mind. These are fearless, heartfelt blogs that I dare not consider myself in the same league with. And to be clear, I’m not saying that to beg for compliments. I am quite secure in my writing talent, it’s just that I know my limits and strengths well and so I know that being so powerfully poignant and acutely impassioned in blogging is not my style.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really settled into a few things, too. For example, I find I know more often than not at this point when to keep my mouth shut. When to keep politics off social media. When to refrain from commenting in certain forums. Sometimes I can’t help myself and in those moments, I am proud that I excel at keeping my feelings concise and unprovoked and un-baited. When you do this thing – when you choose to be a blogger or some kind of social media influencer – a lot of people think they know you and I think the funny thing about me is, unless you know me in real life, you probably cannot say you know me well from following me on social media. Or maybe you know me a little but not very well. And that is all by purposeful construct.

I’ve also accepted imperfection. Sometimes you just gotta toss out that “zero fucks” card, roll up your sleeves and get into it. Sometimes you gotta roll down the window and tell the idiot who’s double parked and screwing up the flow of traffic he’s an idiot (yes, I did that recently). Sometimes you have to tell your friend they’re wrong. Sometimes being silent is not power, it’s insanity.

This post is already a million miles away from what I thought it was going to be when I began. I apologize. Like I said, eloquence is not my thing. I guess it’s just that I haven’t been able to stop laughing today and I was trying to understand why. It feels out of place and sort of deranged that I keep laughing. To myself, in the car, at home alone, out with friends…. I just keep laughing. I think about things and I just start giggling like a dimwitted fool.

Best I can tell, having gotten all this out, here’s why:

  • This terrible kid tried to rape a girl at a college party. He took photos of her and texted them to his friends. A misogynistic judge sentenced him to three months in jail. His father cried out that his son should not be punished so severely for 20 minutes of poor life choices.
  • 128 people were killed in gunfire and explosions last year at an Eagles of Death Metal concert in Paris.
  • A talented 21 year old pop singer was shot at point blank range by a mentally ill person who came to her autograph signing session with more than one gun in tow.
  • The Republican nominee for President of the United States is a former reality TV star who wants to build a wall along our Southern border to keep Mexicans out of America. He wants their country to pay for it, too. He also wants to exile Muslims and openly mocks women, disabled people and the poor.
  • Last night, a young man who has a documented history of mental instability, walked into an Orlando gay dance club with an AR15 Assault Rifle and killed 50 people. He injured 53 more.
  • After this shooting, believe it or not, some people celebrated that God was finally coming after “the gays.”
  • In some places in America, people I know would not be allowed to pee in the bathroom they identified with because some ignorant twats have decided they are child molesters.
  • In December, 14 people were killed and 22 were injured in San Bernadino by a similarly minded gunman.
  • Sandy Hook, Columbine, Virginia Tech

I guess, in short, I laugh because, if I don’t, I’ll probably just cry. Or stab myself in the leg with a fork to dull the pain.

I laugh because frankly, I don’t know what else to do and it’s easier to laugh than to be angry and mean. Laughter is a release.

I laugh because you know what? Fuck them. 

All of the Reasons I'm Laughing Today - Love Wins

Filed Under: Pop Culture Tagged With: Love Wins, Orlando, Trump

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes Studio City

May 16, 2016 By AJ 1 Comment

I named Barrel and Ashes, Studio City, one of my favorite brunch spots after my first visit to the BBQ joint. The BBQ there is good, mind you, but not the best I’ve ever had and it’s really their brunch I prefer. And why not? Tim Hollingsworth, the chef there, brings the cred, having previously spent a dozen years working for Thomas Keller at the French Laundry and among many other credits, also has three Michelin stars to his name.

The space used to be a somewhat fancy restaurant (which I liked very much, for the record) with dim lighting and white linen tablecloths but now has been stripped down and redesigned to radiate Southern charm.

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes in Studio City

You can order their BBQ at brunch and there are a bevvy of hand crafted cocktails — they make a decent Bloody Mary — and you’ll even find traditional sweet tea there. But it’s really all about the unique food menu items.

Today someone said to me “Whatever, I can make Frito Pie at home.” And I replied “But you don’t and I certainly can’t.” It is delicious trailer-trash cuisine. Chili, cheddar cheese, sour cream, onions, peppers served in the finest of vessels….

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes in Studio City

There is also a list of biscuit sandwiches on the menu. The simplest with just jam or the more decadent with sausage and gravy. There is also a pork biscuit but my money’s on the fried chicken and honey butter.

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes in Studio City

I’m also a humongous fan of their pork benedict and smoked salmon benedict (IT’S SO GOOD). Their Huevos Rancheors ranks up there because I love anything with Cotija cheese on it.

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes in Studio City

I’ve saved the best for last, though. There are four kinds of HOE CAKES on their brunch menu. One with bananas and chocolate and caramel that is either meant for dessert or the indulgent (no judgement from me) and two that are breakfasty with eggs, bacon and the like involved. All good choices, I say, but you’ll be just fine with the basis hoe cake. Of course, there’s nothing basic about it and I recommend ordering one to share with the whole table. One would satisfy three to four people and you can always order another.

What is hoe cake? Imagine a cornbread patty in sizzling butter, topped with green onions, served bubbling in a hot, hot skillet. They’re not proprietary about it — the LA Times even has the recipe — but I don’t think anyone can touch it.

Southern Brunch at Barrel and Ashes in Studio City

Aside from the setting and food, two more key elements about B&A I must mention. They are open for brunch at 9:30 on Saturdays and Sundays. This is smart in a town that loves brunch but where most places don’t open til 11:00. And they also take reservations. Which is great because I’m a snob and I hate going to restaurants that don’t take reservations. Yup, I said that out loud.

P.S. (Sit in Clay’s section!)

Filed Under: Brunch, Foodie Tagged With: Barrel & Ashes, Barrel and Ashes, BBQ, Breakfast, Brunch, hoe cake, Restaurant, Studio City

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"Today I will be classy and elegant. Or, I will spill on my shirt and trip over things."

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